Iridian

20. ANAMNESIS

.present

I have finally returned to that point where this tale began—in the present.

The cherry blossoms in Atreus' backyard scattered to the breeze, swirling in random patterns like a shower of pink rain. For a moment, I wished I could be like those petals, lofted by the wind without a care in the world. I traced a finger along the inert psych that never quite left my side, a little piece of comfort to remind me that the bond I had to Dante still existed. So much had happened. The final pieces of my memory had rushed in like torrential rain; and the more I remembered, the more I felt the keen emptiness where Dante should be.

Light footsteps approached from behind. I knew to whom they belonged. If grief lay heavy in my heart, it could not even compare to the weight that the owner of those footsteps carried. He settled behind me, close enough for me to feel the heat of his body where I sat on the stone bench, knees curled up to my chin.

"I heard about Kaori. I'm sorry," I began, not turning around to face him.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. It wasn't your fault." His voice was gentle, full of regret but no accusation.

Silence. "But—"

"No buts."

I lifted my head from my knees, closing my eyes to feel the soft breeze whispering through the trees. I had learnt of everything that had happened while I'd been in Silas' grasp. The attack at the opera had taken Kaori's life. Both Paige and Takumi had been injured quite badly, with Takumi having to undergo surgery to remove a bullet lodged in his ribs. Atreus had had quite a job of making the whole surgical team 'forget' how fast Takumi had recovered, pulling him out of observation before the usual period had lapsed.

I knew it wasn't my fault, yet I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. After all, those attackers had been after me. I felt just as bad for those men whose minds Silas had twisted to control, in order to disable us. They had both been found dead in an alley behind the opera house—including the one Paige had flung against a wall—suicide it seemed, but we knew better. It had all been a diversion so Silas could abduct me. What a waste of life.

Yasuo and Dante had tracked me to the catacombs, followed by Llewellyn, who had rushed down from Ashbrook in record time. And now Dante was missing. And for what? Why me? Those questions plagued me.

"How's Yasuo doing?" I avoided mentioning Dante. Not yet. Not just yet. The psych in my hand warmed a little just at the mere thought of him.

"As expected," Takumi's voice was sad. I didn't have to see him to know the pain would be etched in his face. It would be clearest to me, because I knew the truth in his heart. "He grieves, but doesn't show much of it. He has been preparing for this for a long time."

"And you? Why didn't you go back to Japan with them?" Yasuo had flown Kaori back to be interred near their home.

"I'd said my goodbyes when I thought I was dying. You tried to shield me, didn't you?"

That awful evening with Takumi bleeding in my arms returned with clarity in my mind—Paige screaming for help as Kaori collapsed, the lifelessness in Kaori's pale hand. Yes, I'd tried to shield the sight of Kaori being shot from him but of course he'd already seen. He was far more alert of our surroundings than I'd been.

His next words were pensive.

"It'd be easy to wish that I'd died. That melodramatic part of me wishes that it had been so, only a small part though—a very small one. The rest of me isn't so foolish as to be ungrateful for the life given to me." He sounded rueful.