I wonder why.
Why it's so hard for me to think of new possibilities. Why I keep trying to stick to my own limits and not go beyond.
Maybe it's just a bad habit, maybe it's just little exposure to new things. Or maybe I'm just too narrow-minded.
Huh.
That felt weird, saying that out loud, to myself, in my clinical, stark white room, with only my beeping heart monitor and a white ridged vase with no flowers to keep me company.
I kind of like that empty vase.
It's been sitting there for who knows how long and nobody filled it with flowers. Or anything for that matter.
The bottom is just a round ceramic base where the soil should be.
Why, even a tiny dead bush would suffice at this point.
But what if it was? What if the clock could turn back and the nurse could fill it with beautiful, fresh flowers that could light up someone's day?
Like Tracy?
What if I was more affectionate? What if the clock could turn back and I could tell her how much I loved her, filling her heart with feelings that could light up her life?
My heart monitor beeps faster.
I stop.
The same question palpitates in my head.
Why is it so hard for me to think of new possibilities? Why do I keep trying to stick to my own limits and not go beyond?
Maybe it's just a bad habit, maybe it's just little exposure to new things. Or maybe I'm just too narrow-minded.
Or maybe, just maybe, I can't rethink what my life would be like without her.
I wonder why.
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RandomA collection of thoughts and feelings of different girls. All of the girls are my OC's, more description is provided if requested. さまざまな女の子の考えや感情の集まり。 女の子全員が私の人物です。要求があればもっと詳しい説明があります。
