Me

I

I was blind and shrouded with hatred. How could he say that about me? How could he dare even assume that? Also the way he trusted Kay more than me made me boil. I was his girlfriend. She wasn't.

I suppose I should have known that it wouldn't work out. My emotions for him had subsided months ago. Maybe it was good to actually have a reason to say goodbye. I was ready.

I wondered how it would affect my relationship with John if I ended things with Michael. The two were best friends and surly John would be offended. He'd think that I had broken his friends heart.

I should have listened when John told me that Michael was bad news. He just seemed like he had changed. My parents saw an improvement in him and so did his parents. After I saw improvements I began the relationship.

John saw so many red flags but I saw only Michael's perfection. He was so sweet and caring. He always had the sweetest of words for me and I hate to say it but I loved the attention.

I loved the way he looked at me and the lavish gifts he always gave. I loved the way we would talk all night and really say nothing at all. I loved his long list of reasons why he loved me and I only wished that I was as romantic.

Then he began to change. The lovey dovey quotes got corny. We had no physical contact, which was fine but I wished more than anything that he's just hold my hand.

I didn't enjoy making the first move or the way that he couldn't even ask me if we would hold hands. He had to text it to me.

My brain hurts trying to remember the last time we actually touched. We hadn't even hugged when he came back from camping. Was it the funeral? No. We hugged but didn't hold hands.

I guess I thought I knew what love was. I was too naive and I trusted him. I'm just starting to realize that maybe at the age of fifteen I didn't really understand what I was getting myself into.