Me

Him

We sat by the fire. I breathed in the hot smoke and my eyes began to water. It burned my nostrils and I hated it. At the same time I wanted more. I wanted to feel the stinging sensation and revel in the pain. It was surreal and I liked the fire in my stomach. The sweet lingering smoke.

I wanted to stare at him. To face him but my eyes wouldn't allow me nor would her watchful gaze. She acted shy and sweet and charming but it was as if I knew her better than he did.

She was a liar and a hypocrite. She wasn't fairly attractive but I knew why he claimed to love her. She was cool and new and fresh. She was the in thing. Little me wasn't. I wasn't important. Not around here.

He knew that she was bad for him. He had to. Everyone could see it. He ignored his friends and failed to even behave on the rare occasions that I saw him. He was changing and becoming very disrespectful.

I knew though that in the same way that I wanted to breath in the fire and the embers, the way I welcomed the smoke, was just like him. He welcomed her into his life even though he knew that she was fatal.

She was his and I longed to be her. He wrapped his arms around her and the way they smiled at each other made me sorrowful and I longed to be her. "Keep your head down and don't get in the way." I mumbled to myself.

That was her territory. That was her place. I have Michael, or so I thought. He had barely spoken a word to me and to be honest I didn't care. This thing had gone on long enough. I prayed fervently that he would end it.

Why couldn't he see that I hated him and everything that we have? Why couldn't he see that I had moved on? Why couldn't I move on?

I later realized that the only reason John stayed with her, was because he wanted the attention. He loved the thrill of dating someone so spectacular. He knew deep down that there was nothing. He just wouldn't admit it to himself.

A/N I feel like I should keep writing this. I had previously updated many chapters, but decided to delete them all. I guess this story is just based loosely on my life. I've changed many details. I will try to update more frequently.