Chocolates & Cigarettes

I. Oh has the world changed, or have I changed?

The war ended and it took some time for the villages to fully recover. Right after the war a big economic crisis took place and it seemed that things would never become like they used to. 

Finally, after seven years, Konoha establish it's economic power again and the commerce started growing once more. It's funny when you think about all the problems that come from war, all the pain, all the sadness, all the "moving on" with the life you once had, the burden of carrying on  your clan's name, always remembering those who perish in battle.

"Such a peaceful day..." Shikamaru though as he got out of bed. "Geez, I wake up one hour earlier and I'm already late..." he sighed looking at the clock on the wall. He didn't know why but he was feeling different that morning. He decided not to think much about it and took a quick shower, got dressed and rushed to the village academy. He was going to meet the new students, just a quick look, see if everything was okay and then report back to Tsunade-sama.

As he walked down the street he couldn't stop thinking about this dream he had. He'd had that dream before, way before, right after the war end. But he never remembered all of it, only parts. There was a woman, naked. She lied on her belly and all he could see was her back, he could almost touch her, he could almost feel her skin, her skin that was like silk. There was a certain scent to that particular dream but he couldn't remember who it belonged to.

"Shikamaruuuuuu!" he was violently pull away from he's day-dream.

"Aye Ino..." he said quietly. He kissed her on the cheek and she looked at him kind of shocked.

"What was that for? Can't you kiss your girlfriend in the mouth?" she said angrily.

He sighed. "It's not that... I'm just not very well today Ino. Okay?" he looked up. "This is all to trou-"

"Troublesome?" she yelled. "Lately, something's always troublesome with you Shikamaru! When you said you wanted to be with me I though you meant it but there's always something troublesome in your mind!"

"Ino... I think you misinterpreted me. I said that and I'll keep what I said..." he couldn't just deal with that right now, something was awfully off in his head that morning.

"You said what? Can you at least say that you love me? Can you?" she was playing strong but deep down Ino was crushed.

"Do we have to keep doing this?" he sighed again "I'm already late."

"We'll do this 'til I say it's enough!" she took a deep breath.

"So what do you want me to do?" Shikamaru said quietly.

She stood there in silence.

"INO!" he snapped "what do you want from me? I said that I wasn't feeling well today and yet you keep pushing me!" he breathed heavily. "I'll go now. We can talk later."

And he started to walk away from her.

"Nara Shikamaru don't you dare walk away from me!" he kept on walking. "Shikamaruuuuu!" She yelled as he vanished into thin hair.

He kept on walking on another street, that talk with Ino was awful... He never meant to hurt her, they were dating for three years now and in the beginning everything seemed very easy and he, for months, believed that being in a relationship with her would make him happier. That didn't happened at all. He wanted more, he wanted to feel as he once felt. And with Ino he wasn't feeling that... how could he ever tell her that? After their dads deaths they became pretty close, they reached for support in eachother's shoulders but he was starting to believe that he had mistaken the feelings. But how could he ever hurt her? Didn't she suffer enough with her father death, with Asuma's death as well? It would be cruel to tell her that he was in no shape to love her. Sometimes she already talked about marriage and an alliance between their clans and a family and he  wasn't just ready for that. It was too troublesome.