Mochi

CHAPTER SEVEN

The sounds of furious scribbling can be heard across the classroom, my own pencil adding it's noise to the mix. I keep trying to ignore the way Jimin is gazing at me from across the room, eyes dark, as if promising that he's gonna rip me a new one for this stunt.

For the first time, I walked to school on my own, purposely leaving earlier than we normally do in order to avoid Jimin. And, rather than sitting with Jimin once we were both here, I went out of my way to snag a seat as far away from him as possible.

My excessively studious note-taking is helping somewhat, but I can still feel him burning holes into the back of my head even without looking.

"Hey, " the girl next to me addresses me softly, "don't you normally sit with Jimin?"

I sigh, ignoring the girl as it really isn't any of her business.

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I manage to get through that first class of the day, the only one I share with Jimin, and through all of the subsequent classes leading up to lunch.

And as I trudge towards the cafeteria I am laden with guilt.

Maybe it's cruel of me to ignore Jimin like this considering it isn't as if he's aware of my feelings for him. It isn't as if I've had the courage to tell him, and it must seem like I'm punishing him for no reason.

With a heavy heart, I pick my options at the lunch line, and make my way to an empty table l, tray in hand. The food tastes like ash without the presence of my best friend, a I sigh discontentedly. I notice him, as he finds a seat so eagerly with a bimbo that is wearing a shirt that is clearly three sizes away from protocol.

It clings to her skin like a second skin, and I can smell the thickness of her perfume from here.

What is it with all these women and their overbearing fragrances?

I frown, stabbing at my food aimlessly as I mope.

Jimin hasn't even seemed to notice me at all, instead, he can't seem to stop smiling lasciviously at the brainless beauty hanging from his arm.

"That bad huh?"

I am startled, not having registered that someone had joined me.

Seokjin sits before me with a lopsided grin and a knowing look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry?" Is about all I can muster.

My cheeks have turned an natural shade of red, and I briefly wonder if the universe is trying to kill me.

If so, that's low. A heartache is an awful way to go.

And then, my embarrassment kicks in.

It's as if my brain decided to wait until this very moment to realize that Kim Seokjin is sitting beside me. You know, only the guy I've had a crush on for the better part of two years.

Nothing compared to Jimin, of course. But, if Jimin is unreachable, am I not supposed to find happiness?

Something in me polarizes in this instant, and I make a choice that I'd never even thought to make.

If Jimin can't feel for me the same way that I feel for him, is it not better go give my heart to someone else? Someone who might want it, even?

"I'm not sure if that's supposed to be a joke, because everyone knows that you and Jimin have a special relationship." Jon reveals, crooked smile revealing his pearly whites in what appears to be an amicable fashion.

"Define special relationship, " I demand, frowning.

He chuckles, eyes warm and inviting.

"Supposedly, you belong to Jimin" he admits, "were you not aware?"

I am filled with venomous fury. How dare he do what it sounds like Seokjin is insinuating?

"No, " I shake my head, thinking silently to myself. "Jimin's been my best friend for my entire life. Maybe it's a misunderstanding, a mistranslation."

"Look, ' he says, grabbing my attention once more. " maybe you should talk to him. Far be it from me to intrude, but a friendship like the one you two seem to have is too special to be thrown away over something like this."

He watches for a moment, gauging my reaction before continuing, despite my suddenly surly attitude.

"If you have feelings for him, and I think you do, you should tell him." He advises sagely, picking his tray up as he stands, ready to depart. "You can't stay in limbo forever, it's clearly making you miserable."

He flashes a sympathetic smile before walking away, leaving me with a tangled web of emotions that I'm not sure I really want to examine.

Also, I'm not entirely sure what just happened. I must admit that I am confused about Seokjin's actions. Not to mention the absurdity of the fact that I was about to, what, throw myself on him?

But he's right, and the worst part is that I know it.

"Everything's changing all at once, " I lament.

Nevertheless, filled with a courage I didn't know that I could possess in even my wildest of dreams, and a fire brimming in my chest that refuses to be doused, I stand and approach Jimin's table.

It feels as if the entirety of the eyes in this cafeteria are on me, and for a moment, I'm afraid I might falter, change paths last second. But then I remember the nights that  I've spent crying, loving silent as a ghost a man who can't recall a stupid, precious promise.

But somewhere in that haze of righteous fury and endless self loathing, I failed to notice that Jimin had already left, though it seems that his painted companion had not followed.

She sits there, staring at me with that 'I'm the cat who got the canary' look, petal-pink lips parted in an eerie and entirely unattractive smirk. Bewildered, I turn around, trying hard not to think about the angry red, and nearly purple, hickey that stands out so vividly against her porcelain skin.

"Where did he go so suddenly?" I ponder as I walk away, massively disoriented by this whole experience.