The Way We Get By

4 // Liam

On Friday we told the kids that Lucy was leaving. It was a difficult thing to do, especially because I know how attached the twins have gotten to her throughout the past year. Hell, Ramona and I have gotten completely attached to her. But today is the dreaded day.

Cristina will be here at any minute, and Lucy mopes around while saying her final goodbyes.

It's such a sad thing to see, especially knowing how unfit her mother is to take care of her. In my opinion, the fact that Lucy's mother was a bad enough addict to get Lucy put into the foster system in first place just proves that she doesn't truly care about her child.

A parent that truly cares would never put their kid in that position. Ever.

"Bye Alex and Angel," Lucy whines in a soft voice, clutching her stuffed llama to her chest.
They both smile at her, taking turns in giving her a hug.

The foyer of our house has grown unusually quiet, all of us focusing on Lucy's innocent presence as she says her goodbyes.

"And bye, Momma."

Ramona smiles, kneeling down and cupping Lucy's face with her hands. She says something to Lucy in a soft voice, something so quiet that I can't hear. She kisses Lucy's forehead, pulling her in for one last hug.

"I love you," Ramona murmurs, Lucy saying it back as she pulls away from the hug. She makes her way to me with downcast eyes and slow steps.

"Bye, Daddy."

I smile down at her and scoop her up, bringing her to eye level with me.

"I love you so much."

I press my lips against the top of her head, a feeling of dread washing over me as a knock on the door begins to echo through the foyer.

Ramona closes her eyes momentarily, eventually wandering over to the door and opening it for Christina.

"Hello!" Cristina speaks confidently as she steps inside.

My arms wrap around Lucy's small frame, feeling the urge to fight this. I never want to let go.

It's surprising to feel this way about a child that's not biologically mine. When Ramona had brought up the idea of fostering a couple of years ago, I never thought I'd actually be able to make a true connection with a kid. But Lucy surprised me.

She came into our house with her adorable button nose and giggling composure, constantly shining a much needed light into our home.

At the time, things were getting financially stressful for Ramona and I, and the twins were trying to adjust to the changes of their freshman year of high school.

Lucy came along and brightened our days, and now Cristina has the nerve to come into my home, asking for her back.

"It's time to go, Lucy," Cristina says, stepping towards me with outstretched arms.

Lucy shrinks back in my arms and pleads with me through incoherent mumbles. She whines and cries about how badly she wants to stay with us. And I want to hold her and tell her that she doesn't have to go, but I have no choice.

I have to be the mature adult, so I reluctantly hand Cristina my whining daughter. And as much as I tried to prepare for this moment, I massively underestimated how badly it was going to hurt.

"Daddy!" she cries as Cristina pulls her away from me.

I look down at the floor and focus on the shiny wooden planks that make up the ground beneath me. It's too painful to look at the scene in front of me, and just listening to the sound of my daughter being ripped out of her home is almost too much for me.