The Way We Get By

6 // Angel

lol i got my phone taken away (dont lie to your parents, kids) buuuh I'm back now and updating this asap because I couldnt on friday. so sorry :((

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"What do you think it means?"

Eliza rolls the blunt between her finger and thumb while staring in front of her through the windshield.

Her car is a warm, leathery escape from the winter snow outside, and the sounds of Sean's snoring from the backseat are keeping Eliza and I droopy and exhausted. It may also be the blunt that's shrinking in size every minute, but either way, we're both feeling drained.

"What does what mean?" she asks with another puff.

"What does it mean to be in love?"

A cloud of smoke escapes into the air around us. She peers over at me with slitted eyes that are questioning and surprised.

"Well I wouldn't have a fucking clue. I've never been."

I gaze over at her and watch her stare move calmly in front of her. Outside is a light shower of snowflakes falling from the sky. With a slow gesture, Eliza reaches forward and turns her wipers on for a brief moment.

After a few swipes they fall silent, and we're left to the quiet once again.

"I have, y'know."

My words catch Eliza's attention. Little does she know, they're meant for her.

"Really?" She turns to look at me with a tired, drowsy sigh. "Who's the lucky girl?"

I stick my hand out and receive my turn with the blunt. I take a long, smooth hit and feel the wave of calmness fall over me.

Maybe if I get high enough I'll be able to tell Eliza the truth.

"You know her really well."

"I do?" she asks with an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah."

I stare over at her while I raise the blunt to my lips again. Today she's wearing a sweatshirt of mine, one that I accidentally misplaced at her house and never got back. The socks she's wearing are also mine, but I left those at her house so long ago that they've practically become hers. I doubt I'll ever be getting those back.

"This girl," I begin with a voice softer and lower than I intended. "This girl has really long, brown hair. And she's got brown eyes, and beautiful lips. And she smells like vanilla."

Eliza takes the blunt back and places it down in the soda can ashtray that she made for us.

"She sounds great."

My eyes have focused on Eliza completely and fully. I want her so badly, like I've never felt before. I want to kiss her and hold her and do everything with her, and nobody else.

The memories we have together as friends are already so precious to me, there's no way she couldn't feel the same about me.

"Do you know what her name is?"

Eliza shakes her head and her hands draw together in a weird fidgeting motion. She taps her acrylic nails against each other while she waits for my answer.

"Her name's Eliza."

Her eyes immediately snap up to mine. Her fidgeting stops, and she stares up at me through eyes that are frozen and unsure of what to do. But I just sit and try to hold back a smile, because the amount of relief that comes along with letting out my feelings is incredible.