Lucifer's Loves

Part 7

I hate the monthly get-your questions answered-event we do. Once a month Lucifer opens the castle doors allowing citizens to come meet him is person and ask any questions about him or the city, It's really just a way to include the citizens and make them feel like the "devil" isn't just a distant figure.

I don't know why I even have to come, Draculorum is there and no one ever really wants to talk to me, who would? Compared to Luci I'm nothing, a faint star next to the sun. And since he started dating Draculorum everybody wants to talk to him as well.

Lucifer sits on a beautiful dark throne with me on his left and Draculorum in his right. The pair of them are holding hand and sneaking smiles at each other.
Feeling an unusual pain in my gut I turn away forcing myself to watch as the line slowly shrinks, finally the last one bows low and leaves and the guards closing the doors.

Lucifer jumps out of his chair pulling Draculorum away, their giggles echoing as they disappear from view. Feeling completely invisible and lonely I head up to my room.
Shutting my door with a satisfying slam that rings down the spiral walls of the tower, not that anyone will care my maids know not bother me about it and Lucifer is.....busy.

Hair burning angrily I turn on my speakers, rock music pours out as I grab sharp things to throw. Each throw sticks with a pleasant thud. Draculorum opens my door just in time to see me wrench my arm back viciously burying a wicked sharp ax into my headboard.

His eyes widen at my handful of weapons and blazing hair. He quietly flicks his hand, shutting off the speakers and sits on my bed.
"Sweets are you ok?" He asks his blue eyes worried
"Of course why wouldn't I be" I snap ignoring the hurt that flashes in his eyes
"You seem upset and your hair looks like a bonfire" he says
"Well I'm fine, absolutely fine" I growl shaking out my cracklings hair "My life is completely perfect I'm not at all unhappy in any way shape or form"
"Are you sure?" He presses using the calming tone that always releases my emotional floodgates

"It's just..." I say after a minute
"I'm lonely, I mean you, Luci and Jhair are here but you two are always wrapped in each other, which is amazing and I'm happy for you and Jhair is dating Nerzi so I feel alone. But I also know that a relationship is NOT a possibility so I'm just gonna have to deal"

Draculorum shakes his head
"Honey you've gotta let that go, your letting it eat you and trust me it will only make it worse"
"But it's true" I say feeling my anger rise again "No one in their right mind would even look at me, not when you and Lucifer are as beautiful as you are."
Draculorm shocks me by shouting
"Why are you like this? People obviously care about you and men would be falling over themselves to have a chance with you, but yet you insist on holding in to the dam past and refuse to actually see your beauty and the boy who is obviously falling for you"
he pants slightly his eyes blazing with cold fire. I am shocked, he never yells at me but I stand strong and reply
"I only say the truth and you know how my self esteem is I can't see myself that way. All I see a horrible person who is to damaged for anyone to actually love" I choke back tears glaring at him my eyes burning.
"You know what fine, I don't have the patience to deal with this right now I'll see you later" he stands up and walks away not looking at me.

I sink to my knees and cry, thick hot tears sizzling on the cold hard floor, as I think of what I've done.