Foolishly in love

The Virgin

After a little over a week of making excuses on not seeing him, I finally agree on coming over to watch a movie. Now we he invited to watch a movie the first thing that popped in mind is, he's gonna try to have sex but I'm not going to let him be the first guy I sleep with. But then I was like ya know maybe he's different and just really wants to watch a movie. So before I went over his house I stopped at the store got me a little polar pop because I was stalling, I wasn't for sure if I really wanted to go over his house. Eventually I just said fuck it ima go. So I pull up over there and he's like have your ever watched Brooklyn's Finest? I'm like no, and he's like alright that's what we watching. So he's laying in the bed and he was like get comfortable and I'm sitting way on the edge of the bed. I barely got one leg on the bed nervous as fuck. Im like please don't try nothing please don't try nothing cause it's gonna be awkward when I turn him down. In the corner of my eye and can see him keep looking at me and I know he's like this girl is weird af. So he's like " why you sitting all the way over there, come lay with me". My dumbass was like "ok". So I take my shoes off and lay on the bed and he's like " you don't want to lay with me?"  I'm like " yea I just didn't want to make it weird by cuddling with you" like girl what? Why would I say some shit like that. Anyway he's like " girl come over here and lay with me". So we cuddling and he start rubbing on my arm and kinda massaging my back, he kissed my forehead. So at this point I'm like I'm about to fake sleep because I don't want him to try anything on me. Mind you I'm still a virgin, this our second "date" and not my idea situation to be my first time.  So I close my eyes, not watching the movie anymore, fake snored ( I don't even snore, but he didn't know that), I tried to make it believable. So he taps me and said " you sleep" and I didn't respond so he left me alone for about five minutes then tapped me again and asked " you sleep"? I'm like mhm and rolled over to the other side of the bed with my back facing him. Now in my head this seemed like a good idea but it wasn't. I was planning on telling him I'm sorry but I gotta go because I was so tired. He ended up cuddling me from behind and was like wake up, and started kissing me and rubbing on me, he was undoing my bra, unzipping my shorts. At this point I'm still faking sleep trying to think of a plan to get out of here. He stopped and then turned over because someone was calling him. While he was doing that, I buttoned my shorts back up, he saw me and was like you up now? I'm like yea I'm really tired though. He started kissing me and was like come on and I'm like give me five minutes. He's like noooooo come on. I'm like five minutes. So I pretend sleep hoping my mom would call me like she always does but she didn't. So he's like ok it's been five minutes. I'm like five more minutes. He's like nooooooo I'm like forreal just five more minutes and he laughed and said ok. So now I'm about to have an anxiety attack trying to think of away to leave. Now you're probably think just leave dummy, tell him you have to go but for some reason I couldn't. It's like I would freeze up. So he legit set a timer to go off at five minutes and he's like ok times up. When he's saying it, it was like in a joking way. Not in a way that it seems aggressive or like he's trying to force me. I still don't want to have sex but for some reason no isn't coming out of my mouth. So he unbuttons my pants again he gets on top of me, I see that he's already naked, he's taking my pants off and then trying to take my panties off. Then someone knocks on the house door. I'm like thank God. God keeps giving me opportunities but I'm not taking advantage of them. So he gets a towel and wraps it around himself and goes to the door. At this point I'm like this is where I leave. I put my parties back on and I'm starting to put my shorts back on but he's coming back. He sees me getting dressed and he laughed and was like that was just my roommates friend, you don't have to leave. So here we go again he gets on top of me, unbuttons my shorts again, takes my panties off and takes my shirt and bra off. He puts the condom on and tried to stick his dick in me but it wouldn't go in because I was too tight. So he kept trying and then he lifted me up and pulled my face to suck his dick. So I was sucking it, doing it how I expect that I should. So then he tells me to stop and then he tries to stick it back in and it goes in. So I'm trying to keep it together, trying not to cry. Not even because it hurts but because I'm upset at the situation. So he's being rough and it's really uncomfortable. So he stops and then tells me to lay on my side and he lays beside me and starts fucking me again even more rough, not gonna lie in that position it felt much better and I kinda liked it. One thing that made me feel even more uncomfortable was that I felt like he took the condom off. That was all the was going through my mind the rest of the time. I don't want to have a kid right now, not with him, not in this situation also I don't want to be that girl that sleeps with a guy unprotected and ends up with a std especially a incurable std. so eventually he finishes and I put my clothes back on. He's was still laying down but when I started to put my shoes on he was like where are you going? I'm like in going home I need to help my mom with something. He was like " damn I don't need to cuddle with you or nothing" and I just laughed. I was just like let me get in my car and go before I bust out crying in front of this guy. So I get in my car and drive to the mall parking lot. I sat in the car a listened to some sad ass music just angry with myself. Like why didn't I tell him no? Why didn't I tell him to stop? I'm so stupid, I knew that's all he wanted to do. Just beating myself up about the situation but at the same time I felt like he should of felt that I didn't want to have sex by the way I was acting and the vibe I was giving off. I couldn't blame him for it happening because I never actually said no. I couldn't keep being sad about it, I had to go to work, plus it happened there's no going back, it is what it is.