Rules of Attraction

8th March- Charlie

My words made him stumble back in shock. I took the opportunity to slip into my car and race to the bar.

I was frazzled, anybody who looked my way could notice how much of a mess I was as I stormed through the bar like a tornado.

I throw my stuff in my locker and get straight to work doing anything I can to keep my mind off the last twenty minutes.

I filled the ice tubs, filled and switched out liquor bottles and stocked the cooler with beer bottles. everybody watched out of the corner of their eye while I speed through the bar doing everything I could to stay busy. It wasn't until I was slicing limes and lemons and I cut my finger with the paring knife that they decided to intervene.

"Ow, fuck!"

"Okay, it's fine, let's go to the office."

Robbie was at my side in a second with a rag to put around my finger to contain the bleeding.

I followed her to the back office and watched as she grabbed the first aid kit. She threw the towel into the small garbage can and started cleaning my cut.

"It's not deep, I think you'll survive...you gonna tell me what's going on in that cute little head of yours?"

"He um... he kissed me."

"Who kissed you sweetheart? Did you not want him to?"

"It was Niall. I...I did want him to but I just...I can't be with him. I- I'm a mess Rob. I screw up and I push people away and I can't do that to this guy."

"Oh sweetheart, you are not a mess. You been through a lot of tough times for someone so young, but listen to me closely: you are the most loving and loyal person I know, and you deserve someone that loves as deeply as you do."

"What if he leaves?" I asked so softly I can barely hear myself.

"Charlotte, not everyone is your mother, and if he does leave, then he doesn't deserve you. I had Dolores start a couple of dinners, you are going to go home and have dinner with your father. You need to go clear your head and relax. Think about it tomorrow with a clear head."

"Okay...hey Rob... thank you. For everything."

I melted into Robbie as she wrapped her arms around me.

"You are the daughter I never had. I love you so much, my sweet girl."

****
My pops startled awake when he heard me coming through the front door. I'm sure falling asleep in his recliner is something that he was going to regret later, but I'm sure having to spend the majority of your time in bed is just as rough.

"Hey, you're home early, thought you worked tonight?"

"Yeah, we were slow and I cut my finger cutting limes...Rob sent me home with dinner for the both of us."

"I don't know how we would have survived this long with out her, kid."

"We wouldn't have. We wouldn't have needed her if you didn't marry a crazy lady."

"Well, the crazy lady gave me you so I'm not complaining too much."

I didn't even get a response out as I rushed to help my pop steady himself as he stumbled getting up.

"I'm fine, stop fussing will ya?"

"Alright, alright...stubborn old man," I mumbled as I followed him to the kitchen with dinner.

"I'm old, not deaf," he teased back as I grabbed plates and silverware for dinner.

We ate in a comfortable silence, although Pop could have been talking to me for all I knew. I had a million things running through my head.

"So you gonna tell me what's goin' on?"

"Nothings going on, what are you talking about?"

"You can't fool me, Charlie. Something is bouncin around in that head of yours so what is it?"

"Um...Niall... I- I like him. But I'm so scared. What if he leaves like mom?"

"First, Niall isn't your mother. Secondly, your mom has her own issues she had to deal with, or I guess didn't actually want to deal with. You were too young to really get it, but your mother was bipolar. She would have manic episodes, become reckless and in a second her moods would do a one- eighty, and she would become extremely depressed. I tried to hide it from you, I told her she needed to get help but she wouldn't, so she left."

I've spent so many years hating her, thinking it was something I did to make her leave!"

"I know I should have told you sooner, I am really sorry about that. You were just so young when she left and never actually asked about her so I didn't bring it up. It was nothing that you ever did, Charlie."

"I...this is like totally fucking with my head right now."

"I know, I'm sorry. I screwed up and I'll try making it up to you every day.  As for Niall, I think you need to listen to your heart for once and not your head. I've seen how you two looked and connected with each other, I think it's worth the risk."

My dad got up and hobbled our of the kitchen leaving me to process everything he had just told me.

Since I was ten years old, I thought my mom left just to be a bitch, refusing to get help so she could watch me grow up, but now I know it wasn't entirely her fault. She had her own battles that she was trying to fight.

But then Niall kept shoving his way into the forefront of my mind. I ran to the bedroom we had converted into a music room and locked the door. When I came out with a fully written song with music and lyrics, I knew exactly what I was going to do.