Just try...

4

Louna: 

I left the party behind me with all the happy people as the next day waking up to reality with memories from the evening before remaining as remnants from a dream you didn't want to wake up from. I took the long road home along the anxious streets with the music pounding behind me a good bit before it was just the sound of passing cars. The summer evening's air was lukewarm and the wind was light, the sun was on the horizon and the first star began to appear and I one thing I only allowed myself to do alone and in silence, wishing me from the first star from heaven. I wished me the same thing over and over again though it was never fulfilled I continued to hope, I always wanted a new beginning, a beginning of a good life. I wanted for a good life with no problems and full of hope for both the future and for the present something I do not really have. After being caught in my desire and the star's spellbinding glow, I reached home, home to the stairwell which more closely resembled a demolition object. The stairs were steep and without lighting, along the winding road up to floor five, there were glass bottles and needles. Finally you stand outside apartment 108 in my "home". The apartment is cramped but works for us two, me and mom as it has always been. Dad stacked when I was two and Mum says it was better so that he was just a trouble. And it hurts like I've inherited his trouble. I used to dream of having my own dad while trying to figure out how my dad would be as if he were with me, what we would do together? I used to wonder if he would bring me the park and buy ice cream that my friends dads did, but it was something I never had to experience. Lately I have realized what my mother meant by that we are better without him, he would only hurt and make us disappointed. Sometimes the idea is better than the real thing, which is why I let him only exist in my dreams. When Jilly got an idea on the brain she didn't release it no matter what but it was always replaced by someone "better", one week it might be an idea to cut the hair in a 70's inoperated hairstyle so that next week be dressing in only pink but someone who has never changed or replaced was the idea of ​​dragging me into all her ideas. And no matter where it was about, I always followed her, if it was a party, I went with and kept her sure if it was shopping I followed and waited patiently outside the locker room. It's just so it is, I was the one with realistic advice or shoulder to cry out against. We shared a band we didn't have with anyone else, we shared secrets that no one else knew about. And it's her fault I sit on my bed in the dark with the dress in her hand, the dress that apparently was to the party I didn't even want to go on. Although it is dark in the room, I can still see the color pop out of the dark, the fabric is soft and kisses my fingertips. The fabric feels like air around my figure and the powder box color feels just like something Jilly would get to buy, the color is innocent against the contrast of my black heels that echo towards the parquet floor so it must be heard to the floor below. I give my bed a lasting longing look, it looks warm and inviting, before I go. The sun is almost completely off the horizon and the end that shines in the dark is the anxious street lights, the air cooler than before but still comfortable with my velvet-clad arms. I'm young and pretty much free, the night is young and I should be wild. Already long before one can even see the house one can hear life, loud voices trying to overpower the throbbing music and laughter mixed with everything else, it is laughter from people who forget their problems if it is only for one night or for an eternity . After the quick conversation with Jilly, I didn't even need to hear more than the word party to know where we would meet for the evening. The house is owned by a senior, he is called Dan and I would have liked to say that I do not know who he is, that I never even knew who he was but I do and I am already involved in everything. He is famous for the city's young people for his parties, they are big, parents free and a place for criminals, he is the one who is constantly in trouble with the police and has parents that I am not even sure exist, they are constantly on the move with the job, the father is a lawyer and never travels without his trophy wife, which leads to the many parties that have followed the years. He was tall and broad-shouldered with dark plump hair and was Jill's then crush. Me and Jilly started going to the parties almost two years ago, we sneaked into the party and offered beer even though we weren't even invited, after coming a couple of times, people knew who we were and they didn't last long before he in his own High person came and invited us. His parties are like everyone else there are spirits, music and loud laughter, it's places memories are created and blackouts. The house is large and well-funded with the signs that come with being a lawyer. Along the well-cut lawn, those who have already found the well-stocked liquor cabinet rattle. As I step up the driveway I see a brunette rummaging past me with her hands beaten over her mouth and just right to the figure-cut bushes and vomiting up all the bad she has got into the short time she has been to the party, I can already feel the fresh scent which fantastic start to yet another lousy feast. After seeing the full well, I can't even go through the house I just walk around the house to the back that curves out towards an open field which then leads towards a road which leads out of the city and takes one to the neighbouring town. It was on the back the cars were parked with the headlights facing the dark over the meadow. I'm looking through the parked cars, from BMW parked for the rich man's kids to dark pickup trucks with tinted boxes until I see the pickup truck I'm looking for.