Today, I felt like there is my yearning to really become so good with words and be very eloquent. I usually speak or think either in Tagalog or English and those are what I am used to, and it is very enjoyable to make fun with words sometime especially slangs in Pilipino. Most candid cause of laughter gets with the playfulness of use of words. By the way, in the serious note, I love how the Holy Bible tells that Matthew has spoken with much eloquence to minister the gospel. Honestly speaking, I, truly desire to be so good at speaking as to persuade or convince anyone about the goodness that God has for us. I have always been having a dream of changing wickedness to be transformed to the light and that is my heart yearns for. "This would be taking advantage of God, and his infinite goodness, patience and understanding; and not to realize that, his goodness is in order to lead you to conversion" Romans 2:4
I have been seeing in the eyes of my heart about faith that I too can, participate in the Church, to change the World. Imagining the part in a movie where Jesus was on a boat together with an apostle and the moment that was when He said He encourages his apostle that "We will change the World". Sadly, that part when when St. John the Baptist was killed on the consequent plot in the storyline. To share my thoughts about today's experiences, I can say, I have been very satisfied about my growth spiritually. This write up is intended to only share my life though can't assure that I can preach well but, I only desire to be true to you. First, I wanna tell you that, I have this strange occurences that happens to me very personally. I am, a weirdo. I got so many babbling with my speech in any given time, sometimes in a very kid like way of speaking and even sometimes, making face with a gesture of being angry all over the look on my face. I am wacky sometimes too. There is something going on with me personally that I myself is very much aware of but, unintentionally doing. I don't know if it has something to do with my own spirit that has the need for discipline or some other kind of spiritual force that moves me. Therefore, my main agenda here is "how to be completely honest to myself" to the point of sharing my life in a blog. I wish to share so much because of the enjoyment I feel whenever I get to laugh on my own. Ha. To tell you again, I am a weirdo. Yes. I always laugh on my own. It seems crazy but it is pleasurable. Those moments were kind of how I can recall whenever I utter something out of my own way not being to serious on my self. I wish I can easily remember those things I laugh about but something I clearly remember is when I am trying to rap on a song I am composing and it was hard for me to mention the word "mapaliwanagan". That song was like a week ago. But today, I did a new one! Thankfully! I love writing songs. So much! It is a way for me to express my inner thoughts and reality that I needed to let out or else I get it inside without a release. I need Music so much. You know what, I got many failures already and the greatest gift that God gave me not to be ever losing hope or frustrated is to be having this love for Singing. I always sing, everyday. This morning, 5am, I get very highly drawn to my spirituality about how I feel for a certain person. Usually, I think people who has so much sensibility in Music and Arts would understand me. Much even is to relate. I really actually wanna know what others go through but this is what I know. God delights in how we worship Him in our Spirit and Truth. Talking about my way of knowing myself is really defining whole honesty about who I am as a person and everything that my spirit is. Living by John 4:24 God is Spirit and his worshippers must worship in the Spirit and in Truth.
I honestly feel sensitive spiritually, I don't know exactly if it has something to do with third eye or psychic powers. However, what I want is whatever happens with me that I could not discern, I will just stay real to what I feel. My feelings are always the core of my soul and my spirit. I never had a fake or fabricated feelings ever in my life. Sometimes I can act but still true emotions come out. I consider my emotions as my basis of my spirituality. I am a Spirit therefore I feel. It is like how I connect to God, it is by my real self. That's why, I just want to be honest. So...
