fallin all in you

ellie and shawn's messages

shawn mendes
please talk to me ellie

ellie
seen

shawn mendes
don't do this.

ellie
seen

shawn mendes
ellie ryan wilson. stop

ellie
what do you want shawn?

shawn mendes
just thought you'd like to know that
me and claudia broke up

ellie
seen

shawn mendes
oh so you're gonna act like you don't care

ellie
i don't.

shawn mendes
ellie i know you better than that
what is wrong with you?

ellie
me? what's wrong with me?
more like what's wrong with you

shawn mendes
what do you mean?

ellie
YOU broke MY heart. YOU caused our
relationship to fall apart. we had to lie to our
supporters so they wouldn't hate on you for
fucking some girl that wasn't me. do you know
how many rules i broke for you? i got pregnant at a 18 with YOUR baby. my family almost disowned
me and almost made me break up with you but
i defended your name because i love you shawn.
we lost our child and you cheated on me because i
was to broken and upset over our son to sleep
with you. do you know what that felt like? no
because i would NEVER do that to you. you
disrespected me but i am so in love with you
that i can't hate you for it. i can't hate you
because i love you.
shawn fucking mendes, i'm in love with you
no matter how much you hurt me.

shawn mendes
i'm in love with you ellie. i will never forgive
myself for doing what i did, i hate myself for it.
you didn't deserve that and i was so selfish
and no matter what i say or do won't ever make
up for it but i will spend the rest of my life trying.
you are such an amazing girl, you're so gorgeous and selfless and caring and i've never met anyone like you and i can't believe i ever let you slip through my fingers the way i did so easily. i don't deserve you, i never have and i never will but god i would die without you ellie. the reason me and claudia broke up is because i couldn't get YOU out of my head. i haven't been able to get you out of it since the day we broke up. what you went through losing sebastien is horrifying and it's my fault you went through that because i'm the reason you got pregnant. i promise you ellie ryan wilson, i love you. i'm so fucking in love with you. no matter what.

ellie
shawn mendes don't you EVER apologize for being the reason i got pregnant. yes, it was the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to me and i never wanna experience that again but you giving me a child is the absolute best gift you could ever give me, i need you to know that. you broke my heart, you broke me, you tore me to shreds, you fucked me up. i was so so high on you, on your love, on our sex, on life, on everything. but i know that life would be so fucking different without you and i don't think i wanna live it without you in it. i know i don't wanna.

shawn mendes
god you're so good with your words

ellie
i love you shawn.
but i need more time and i think you do too
you and claudia broke up less than 12 hours ago

shawn mendes
i love you. and i know. but i just wanted to
apologize for fucking our relationship up.
i miss you.

ellie
i have to go. interview in 15.
i'll talk to you later.

shawn mendes
no "i love you" or heart? 🥺

ellie
STOP we're not there yet

shawn mendes
sorry baby ;)
i'm KIDDING

ellie
god you're so annoying i just wanna kiss you

shawn mendes
oh then let me just keep being annoying

ellie
don't push it mendes
ttyl

shawn mendes
ok mamas

ellie
seen