Nothing changes

Bloody Mary

I was walking down the street over to Mary's apartment. She was my only friend at college, she was also my only friend. The trees where casting shadows on the ground, and in the distance you could here a dog barking. The buildings were tall and run down and the streets empty.

I turned right, onto her porch and knocked on the door. No reply. I tried opening the door, but it was locked, I remembered that she hid a key in her backyard, so I went there. The stone tiles on the ground were covered with dirt, some grass sprouting from the cracks, and blood. I walked a bit further up and the blood piles kept getting bigger. 

In front of me was my best friend completely exsanguinated, there was a huge cut on her neck with stained blood, a cut on each wrist, and heel. Her stomach was cut up and her lifeless eyes were staring straight at me. She had pale skin normally, but this was something else. 

Her blond hair was stained with blood and her mouth was wide open, as if she was trying to breath. She had always been very thin, but it was like she had no fat har bones looked like they were trying to break free from her skin. 

Five crows landed on her body pecking her skin, ripping it. 

I wanted to throw up, its wasn't just a gun shot to the head, like my mother. No suffering. Mary had to lay here slowly bleeding out, it should've been me, I'm the one who wants to die. She deserves to live. I took out my phone my hand shaking and dialed 911. I kept staring at her bloody wrists, tears running down my face.

If only I could turn back time, I had come late because I wanted to buy a new kitchen knife and bring it back. It was my tenth knife this week, maybe if I hadn't taken that stop I could have saved her. I'm useless, unwanted, and just like everybody else. Funny how people want to 'be themselves' or 'be unique' yet they dress like everybody else, talk like everybody else, walk like everybody else. We don't want to be unique, we want to think were unique. By being just like everybody else. Our lives are useless, we haven't done anything good in this world, if we would look up from our screens for just one second, we would see the world falling apart. Not because of the animals, not because of the forest, but because of us. We are selfish, and the world would be better if we weren't on it.

I lean my head on the toilet seat, as tears fall down my cheeks. If only I could save her, save them all, I would never have gone to that children's home, never have needed a psychologist, and they would be alive. 

so if anyone is wondering exsanguinated means 'Drained for blood till death'

Also Mary was slowly bleeding out but then the person who killed her cut up her stomach and took some of her vital organs to sell on the black market. The cut on her neck could kill her very quickly but lets pretend it can't.