Nothing changes

Not how i remembered pt. 2

Then I feel a lot of pain, it is like my skin is being stretched and my bones are being crushed, and then it stops. It just stops, I am now at my old high school.

I see a girl with blond hair and blue eyes, she is thin and has the look of a model, it is Leila. She is walking over to a girl with black hair

I saw Leila standing by the entrance to the school. Another painful memory, I walk over to her. "Hey Leila" I say, I hate her. "A-Abagail?" She asks clearly shocked. I had thought about what I would have said if I was ever in this moment. "Hey one of my friends said he got a dance from you, but I'm sure you were busy on tinder" I say, her eyes widen and the girl beside her starts laughing and ran over to some of her friends to start gossiping.

"Why would you say something like that?" She asks, her reputation was everything for her and I just ruined it. My boyfriend came over to her and back hugged her, he then kissed her cheek he had clearly not seen me yet. I see myself walking through the gates of the school.

I run away and hide behind a bush I get some weird looks. I see myself walking over to Leila and my boyfriend they aren't hugging anymore I walk over and hug them both, but Leila pushes me away. I rest my head on a wall. "Please don't wake me up" I whisper. I sit for a while and then realize that my boyfriend kissed her. I was right, he never loved me.

"I sat my bag by the door and ran into the living room. My mom was standing there with a gun to her head, smiling. I couldn't move, I was paralyzed. I wanted to move walk over to her, stop her. But I couldn't. As soon as she pulled the trigger I ran over to her, it was like my body unfroze. I held her in my arms for a while until some neighbors came and saw what had happened. I got put into a children home, no one adopted me. Who would adopt a mentally ill child? I got kicked out when I was 18, I got some money from my dead parents. I did go to school, I hid my depression from everyone. I bought a little condo and started working in a café." I say and look up at my psychologist. Her brown hair is tied in a tight bun on her neck, she has a black skirt on with a white dress shirt. Her eyes are brown and looking at me with empathy, how I hated that look.

It's meant to reassure people. It disgusts me. "How was your school life?" She asks and presses her small lips into a thin line. "Well..." 

Sorry for the late update i just got out of bed .~.