For the Love of Chaos

Practicing

Stiles dropped his hand from Derek's cheek then, realizing how intimate the moment was.

"Seems like you're getting the hang of these new abilities," Derek pointed out, trying to push past the uncomfortable feeling settling around them.

"It's honestly easier than I thought it would be," Stiles shrugged; his hands now in his lap.

"When are you going to tell Scott?" Derek liked that Stiles trusted him enough to tell him, but he didn't understand it.

"Honestly, I don't know. I wasn't even sure I was going to practice, but..." Stiles trailed off.

"But?" Derek urged Stiles to continue.

"But I love it. Being able to do something worthwhile, it's an amazing feeling."

Derek understood what Stiles was saying. He had felt helpless until he became an alpha and even now, he still felt inadequate.

"So since you're practicing, shouldn't you tell him?"

Stiles bit down on his bottom lip, "I will, just...not yet."

"Why are you so afraid to tell him?" Derek didn't understand why Stiles would tell him and not Scott.

"Cause I know what he's gonna say," Stiles' eyes fell to his hands. He had thought about how to tell Scott and each time he saw the conversation going the same way.

"And what's that?" Derek couldn't see Scott being anything but supportive.

"He's gonna try and keep me away from you. He'll be worried you're gonna try and convince me to be your emissary and even if I tell him you don't want one, he'll still worry," Stiles shrugged.

Something in Derek's stomach twisted, "Keep you away from me?" It wasn't like Stiles was there all the time.

"I want to help. I meant it when I said I was Switzerland. And I would never help hold you down," Stiles added.

He smelled of guilt once again.

"Yesterday you said you didn't want to be an emissary..." Derek paused as Stiles' eyes met his. "That hasn't changed has it?"

Stiles was suddenly hyper aware of the mark sitting just under his collar bone. He could tell him now, no one else was around. But Derek didn't want an emissary. Stiles reminded himself.

Derek waited anxiously as Stiles considered the question before shaking his head.

Derek wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed.

"But you're practicing."

"It would be a waste not to and like you said I don't have to be an emissary," Stiles shrugged.

"Do you just not want to be my emissary?" Derek found himself asking the question before he could think it over.

"Like you said, this would never work," Stiles gestured between them before standing. "I should go."

Derek followed Stiles with his gaze but stayed silent.

"Thank you for letting me practice on you," Stiles gave a forced smile before heading towards the door. Before he could pull it open, Erica and Isaac were doing it for him.

"Hey, Stiles," Erica purred, her bright red lips curling into a large grin.

"Hey, Erica," Stiles smiled nervously. "Isaac."

"What are you doing here?" Erica's eyes darted to where Derek was now standing by the couch.

"Just talking with Derek," Stiles answered vaguely.

"Have you changed your mind about being his emissary?" The blonde asked with far too much enthusiasm.

"No." Stiles shut down the idea quickly. He could feel the mark practically on fire under the thin fabric of his shirt.

"Too bad. I think you'd make a pretty good pair."

Stiles let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding as she stepped past him.

"Uh, Stiles," Derek's voice spoke up with concern.

Stiles turned to see every candle in the room lit, granted there were only four.

"Did I..." Stiles' eyes widened.

"Someone's been using," Isaac smirked.

"You make it sound like a drug problem. I practiced a little. I was thinking about- I'm sorry," With a quick wave of his hand the candles all went out. He must have accidentally lit them when he was thinking about his mark being on fire.

"Whoa, you're good," Erica rose her brows in surprise.

"I clearly need to learn better control," Stiles huffed, he turned then to walk out when Derek spoke up again.

"Tomorrow."

"What?" Stiles frowned turning back to face the alpha.

"Come back by tomorrow. We can work on it more. Isaac and Erica just volunteered to help. You can influence more than one person at a time, right?"

Stiles blinked at Derek, "I mean...theoretically."

"Good, then you can practice it tomorrow," Derek gave a curt nod, as if dismissing Stiles.

"Umm, wh-why?" Stiles frowned, his tongue flicking out across his lips.

"You just said you need to learn better control."

"No, I know why," Stiles gestured heavily at himself. "But why?" He then gestured towards the three wolves in front of him.

"Unless you're planning to tell Scott tomorrow, you need someone who knows, right?" Derek rose his brows at Stiles, waiting for an answer.

"You haven't told Scott yet?" Isaac piped in then, glancing between Stiles and Derek.

"I will, I just...need some time."

"You mean to figure out how your gonna tell him you're gonna be a part of Derek's pack?" Erica grinned.

"No," Stiles snapped. "Look, I'm gonna go but, I'll see you...tomorrow I guess."

"Bye, Stiles," the blonde giggled as he slipped out the door.

Stiles hated being around Erica. He always felt like she could read his mind and was afraid she would find out about his mark. It was only a matter of time before someone found out, he just needed to keep it from everyone a little bit longer, until he could find out how to get rid of it. If he even could. Maybe Bonnie would know. They were due to talk again that night, he could ask her then.