I gave
And gave.
I gave even when I didn't want to.
When I wanted to yell
I kept quiet
When I wanted to cry
I stayed strong
I gave so much
I had nothing left to give myself
So of course
I had nothing to give you.
No warm kisses
No open arms
No smile
No laugh
No beaming eyes
I could not be your sanctuary
And I wanted to
So badly, I wanted to retract into our fleeting eden.
And so despite myself
I tried to give you all of that
All of what I thought was me
Even when I was empty
But love I was empty
And bitter
And hurt
And unforgiving
I couldn't see past the shadow man
The one who haunted my dreams
Who found enjoyment in my fears
And so I tried running and staying
Trapped in the snapshot of our photo reel
Blurred from all my flaws and still
I tried giving
And giving
And giving so selfishly
Until
I had nothing to give
Not even the smallest parts of me.
