i wanna fly baby

you're my comfort

atlanta started off great. as they perform brian's song "shoot me", there's such immense joy radiating from everyone as the fans sing along despite the song not being in their mother tongue. they're having fun, and it doesn't seem like a job anymore. it feels reminiscent to their earlier days, just five boys playing around with their instruments and singing their hearts out. they disappear backstage to prepare for their encore stage with jaebum downing water like his life depends on it. he's had maybe a little too much fun, technique and vocal training seemed to be thrown out the window, his voice cracked a bit, and he struggled reaching a note or two. he doesn't want to beat himself up over it, but he also can't help but beat himself up over it. 

he's not just defsoul's lead singer. he's the leader in general. he named the band, convinced them that this wasn't that crazy of an idea, that they could work it out. he's quiet as he changes into the t-shirt they're promoting for the tour, and seulgi senses it as she helps fix his in-ear mic. "defsoul fighting!" she calls out, hoping to cheer him up. it doesn't work, but jaebum presses a peck against her cheek for the effort.

the encore stage is easy to perform because there's no real expectations. they're just thanking the fans for coming, singing a few of their earlier songs and then they're leaving the venue. jaebum's not in the mood tonight, pulls his hood over his face, crosses his arms and just sits there. the boys respect his space, keep their volume low, and they don't poke the bear. seulgi does the same, doesn't push him, just lets him be.

that's one of the many things he loves about her. she reads him well, knows when he wants to talk and when he doesn't. she understands that he's struggled with his temper in his late teens, and has since learned he just needs time to sort his thoughts. she respects that and gives him that time. when they arrive at their hotel, she washes up first, and jaebum spends that time writing in his journal. he puts his thoughts on paper, writes down his insecurities so he can mull over how he wants to talk it out with seulgi. when it's his turn to wash up, he makes the shower scalding hot, heat seeping into his tired muscles and helping him feel rejuvenated. his hair is slightly damp when he crawls over to seulgi, but she doesn't complain when he cuddles up to her, his head pressed to her chest, listening to her heart beat. she runs her hands over his back, massaging his shoulders. "i didn't do that good today." he admits, hinting that he's ready to talk.

"why do you think that?" she replies carefully.

"my vocals could have been better? i could have tried harder to hit some of those notes, should have stayed focused instead of goofing off and having too much fun."

"is that what you think?"

"what if the fans didn't like my performance?"

"that's absurd. i'm sure they had the time of their lives tonight. they want you to have fun on stage, not stress out over some notes. singers have vocal cracks, it's no big deal. it happens. you're on tour too, putting your chords through a lot. i'm sure they'll understand." seulgi smiles, "you still sounded amazing to me."

"you're biased."

"so are all those other jb fans." seulgi giggles, "it's okay to want to work harder, but i don't want you to beat yourself up over one bad day compared to the hundreds of good days you do have."

"this is why i wanted you here with me. you always have my back."

"of course i do. you always have mine." jaebum sits up a bit, leaning forward to press a kiss against her lips. "if you're feeling better.... do you mind if i dry your hair properly? i don't want you getting sick."