Moonshine\\ !J.T¡

.:4:.

josh

the tv being used as background noise suddenly became a nuisance. i clawed at the backs of my hands and occasionally scratched at the back of my neck at feeling of my skin crawling.

i shakily stood from the old couch and walked towards my room.

"forgiveness, admiration, generosity, charm, selflessness"

my eyes roamed the wall of which my reminders were messily taped to. i studied the word admiration longer than the others; the paper had half erased pencil marks and the color was faded from harsh erasing. it was words such a this that were the hardest to write. admiration, lust, etc. were things that i've never experienced first-hand.

ad·mi·ra·tion
/ˌadməˈrāSH(ə)n/
noun: admiration
       the feeling of admiring someone or something.

the only love being given or received was from my mother laura. the only hatred or disproval being from my father and everyone else. my mom was really the only one who cared, which is why her death hit me harder than i would've liked. my mother was the only happy reminder that i didn't have enough space to write about on one sticky-note.

i sat on the hard floor and stared up at the ceiling with a blank mind. it's moments like these that i cherish most: a clear, silent mind.