Well.
I can never have just one.
Just one boy. I have to have at least another one, my backup. And a backup for my backup.
Now I sound like a horrible person.
But I don't want to be the one who gets fucked over at the end.
I can't have no one. I'm too scared.
I don't want to fall for them. I don't. I don't know if I know how to anymore. I forget how to feel.
I don't want to fall for them. And they break me, and I have no one else.
I don't want to be the one that looks dumb.
I have a new boy. He's known me for awhile. I feel so comfortable around him. I open up a very tiny but significant amount around him.
All of my backups are starting to become irrelevant to me.
I've always had backups. They are the walls.
I don't want that to happen. I don't want to be the silly one at the end. I don't want to be tricked, played, fooled.
I don't want to be alone...
