Only His

11. Tears for him

Elizabeth Meyer

Its been two days..... Since we last met... Me and him.

For the past two days I had been struggling to keep his thoughts off of me but nothing seems working at all. He always manage to get back into it. I can't figure out what is happening to me exactly. Two days of meeting and communication clouded my mind's sky and two days of absence is like pouring down on its surface. Everything that are stored in my memory is playing like a video of just him and his everything.

My mind always remembers what is necessary and everything that is odd are out. Thinking of it.... It was always like that. My eyes always clicked pictures I wanted to remember. Closing my eyes and a bit of concentration helped me to recollect everything I wanted. That was a strange thing I only shared with my only good friend. As it is not a computer I couldn't delete any of it.

Now when I close my eyes a vivid picture appears... Of a man settled in a stool holding a guitar. One of his foot resting on the support bar of the guitar stool and the other touching the floor. He was sitting some fair steps behind but still he grabbed all my attention. The night breeze was chilling. He was keen on to the guitar when he raised his head and began searching with his eyes. Goosebumps raised in my entirety when his quick eyes movements halted when it connected with mine. An indescribable sheer joy spread all over my body.

The crowd was clapping cheering and demanding to start...Then it began. He never left my eyes once but his finger tips were creating magic. I didn't hear the vocals nor the loudness of the crowd but him .....his guitar. It was like I was listening it through a headphone or he was strumming it just for me. The emotions was directed to me through the connection that we didn't broke yet. The elation you felt closing your eyes while listening to the music....letting every notes to touch your heart....every beat to make your body move along... Sometimes the lyrics are never needed to convey the emotions....

The song ended ..... There was a loud round of applause for them. He stood up holding the guitar and swiftly went towards the band mates and handed over the guitar. He left my eyes for seconds only to catch it. He walked to the back stage without turning and finally leaving my sight entirely. I felt my vision glassy. I closed my eyes at the very moment. A tear drop escaped from my eyes with a brief pang in my chest and all the while..... I was smiling. His music meddle with my feelings. The awareness of different emotions that build up at the very moment and the way my body expressed it together like different notes of a song played together without missing one was amazing. I couldn't decipher nor deny it.... Like something I know but can't explain.

When I think about it now the most amazing one was making an eye contact in a multitude and not ceasing it at all... How is it even possible in a night concert with indequate lighting. The people were moving but never crossed our line of connection or I didn't felt they did. I was brimming with excitement an hour ago but suddenly I lost my interest. I brushed the tear and its traces away when my eyes again met with a tall figure deliberately making his way through the crowd. He halted just a step away from me. I felt something odd I mean the feeling made me to bite my lips and rub the back of my neck like I was in pain. I am an introvert for god sake but never in my life I felt this. Oh god I felt shyness. I wanted to face palm but he was too close to show my weirdness. We managed to speak something in that loud atmosphere. Entirely formal talk. We inched closer to hear each other but tried to maintain the personal space that we could possibly get in a crowd. The inconvenience never felt miserable with his presence involved. When there was no room to continue the conversation he bid me bye wishing me a nice night and to stay safe. It was cute. Turning back.... he barely took a step forward when I gained my strength to say aloud what I have been practicing my entire evening....I called him by his name...." Neil" ..... to stop him.
He heard it..... His head dropped down. A wave of panic hit me.... He didn't like it. He told me to call him Ed... But.....but I preferred to call him by his first name. The instant I heard his full name I fell in llo.....I mean I was attracted to this beautiful piece of his moniker. I never encountered someone with this name other than in my science book.