When farts become darts

Chapter one.

Hi, my names Kaitlyn.

I'm a beautiful woman, I like to call myself,

"Regina George."

Because I'm that hot.

I'm in love with food, fridges, food, and food.

And of course,

my best friend,

Joshie.

People make fun of my weight, they say I'm too skinny.

I think I am.

I'm only 545 pounds.

It's sad, I know..

my mom says I have an eating disorder.

I have to take pills but they only seem to make me lose weight.

I'm a good dancer. I can make every part of my body roll. It's really sexy.

I have my clothes made online for me, because I'm that special.

Www.Clothingforafatass.com

That's sarcasm up there. I'm not fat.

Anyway. I'm about to go to school.

6:30 -

I get out my favorite shirt, it was a pink shirt that had one of my favorite Barbie movie scenes on it. I love it.

Btw you can buy it at www.barbieforfatasses.com

I then hop into my signature "fatass" jeans.

I got them at

www.skinnyfatasses.com

I then put on my hand made shoes, I got them at

www.elephantfatasses.com

They're my favorite.

I then get my straightener, and straighten my long, hair. I feed the bug in it everyday.

I named it junior.

Junior is about to have children.

Congrats, junior.

I do my makeup, and then put my hair in a bun, brush my teeth, and go outside and wait for the bus.

When the bus gets here, I go to the back, and open the doors, and barely squeeze through, but I make it.

Thankfully, not many people ride the bus, and I get some special privilege to two seats in the back.

-

6:50

We finally get to school.

I try squeezing through the door again, but I get stuck.

"I'll get the butter" I hear the bus driver say.

7:00

I'm finally out. The bus driver gave me a pass for my class.

I walk to my class and open the door.

I see many eyes staring at me.

While I walk in, someone trips me.

I fall and roll..like if I were on fire, anyways..

I had to get three people to help me get up, I'm too skinny.. I can't help it.

I squeeze through all the desk and sit next to Joshie, of course.

He smiles at me and says "Hi'

I clear my throat.. But I end up coughing out hot wings.

I had some last night.

The teacher cleans it up, but he cleans it up like he is disgusted.

"I could've licked it up" I tell my teacher smiling.

He just walks away.

-

11:34

Its finally time for lunch.

I feel people bouncing in my stomach, but they fly away. Huh, I guess this school is very talented I suppose.

I try running to the lunch line, but I fall and roll.

Everyone just looks at me

I see my friends running towards me to help me up

"Thanks" I tell them

They nodd

"So, kaitlyn.. I'm having a party tonight and I already invited everyone else, wanna come?" I hear Erica squeal

She's too happy. I have a feeling she's on drugs, if she is.. I will kill her, she needs to share!:(

I just nod and smile.

11:37

We finally get our food. I swear we were standing there for 20 minutes, I mean cmon.. I was already sweating.

-

A.N alright I hope you Guys like that chapter so far. They'll be more chapters I promise, gosh.