An Ode to Friendship - Starkid

Numbing the Soul (SIS)

A/N: I came up with this idea at 4:34 am, so if it seems really fucking weird, that's because it is. Basically, my tired brain went, "what would it be like if Esther got Scrags to do drugs?" and uh... this happened. Enjoy, I guess?

"Come on, Scrags, have I ever steered you wrong before?" Esther whined, making two perfect lines of cocaine on the table in front of them. They had come back from their part of a mission before Gwen and Keith (they were probably making out), and Esther was bored.

"Are you kidding me, Esther?" Scrags groaned, "I am an FBI Agent, I'm not going to try your drugs."

"Former FBI Agent," Esther corrected, crossing her arms stubbornly.

"I still have my badge! I'm just," Scrags pauses as he tried to find the words, "not currently a working Agent."

"So you can afford to try something new," she gestured to the crack, a wild look in her eyes. Suddenly, the look transformed into a pleading one, "c'mon, Scrags, you're my favorite in the group because you try new things!"

"I'm your favorite because Keith and Gwen can't keep their tongues out of each other's throats."

"I can have more than one reason. Jinkies Christ, Scrags! Just try it!"

"You know what? Fine! Fine," Scrags knew he would immediately regret it, but he couldn't keep himself from giving in to Esther, "if it'll get you off my case, I'll do it."

"I knew you would give in," his companion replied smugly.

"You know everything."

"Well, go ahead, Scrags."

Unfortunately for Scrags, he had no idea how cocaine worked, and he ended up somehow managing to inhale too fast, becoming a coughing mess on the ground.

"Jinkies, Scrags," Esther spoke up, "I guess we'll have to keep trying until you get it right."

"I am never doing that again."

A/N: Can you tell I have no clue how drugs work? Anyways, this was fun to write, and I hope it's also fun for you all to read. Ava, I hope this lived up to the fever dreams you text me about at night.