12:00 am.
When Thirdy left me, I composed myself. I need to stop my tears from falling. I still have to go back to my teammates.
After minutes of calming myself, I went back to our tent. They were still having fun, it seems like nothing happened. Mukhang hindi naman nila masyadong napagtuunan ng pansin ang nangyaring komosyon kanina. They are probably busy having fun to notice the other happenings around them.
And then there's Maddie.
"Hey, what took you so long----"
She wasn't able to finish her sentence when she saw my face.
"What happened? You cried." It was not a question, it was more of a statement.
My tears are threatening to fall again. I didn't answer her. I'm afraid that if I speak, I might give in with my emotions again.
"Anong nangyari, Bei?" She asked in a low voice and sat beside me.
"Nothing Mads." I refuse to meet her eyes.
"Nothing? Namumugto mata mo tapos nothing? Si Thirdy ba? What did he do to you?" Napalakas nang konti ang boses niya.
"Shhh. Lower down your voice, please. I don't want them to see me in this situation. And no, Maddie. Wala siyang ginawa."
"Ano nga, Bei?? Dalawang oras kang nawala tapos babalik ka dito nang namumugto ang mata pero walang nangyari? I think I have to find Thirdy and ask him myself." She was about to leave when I reached her arm.
"Mads, you don't want me to breakdown here, do you?" Nagmamakaawa na yung boses ko sa kanya.
I'm just glad that our other teammates are busy doing their stuff so they don't notice us.
"I'll tell you everything soon. Not now, Mads. Not now. I'm still hurting. And it's all my fault. Thirdy has nothing to do with this." I said and looked down.
Tumango nang nakakaunawa si Maddie. I know she badly wants to know everything, but she respects my decision.
I wanna go home but I still have to wait for Dad. We agreed that he will fetch me since he assumed that I'll be drunk tonight.
Napatingin ako sa kabilang tent. I was surprised to see Thirdy there. Akala ko umuwi na siya. He looks bothered. It seems like his mind is wandering at some place. He seems not to notice everything around him.
I saw Julia walking towards Thirdy. And when she's in front of him, I saw her hugged him tight.
Thirdy was disoriented for awhile, but I saw him saying something to Julia. Afterwards, they both stood up and leave the tent.
I felt something that almost brought tears to my eyes. Again.
Inalis ko na ang tingin ko sa kanila.
Tumingala ako para pigilan 'yung mga luhang gustong pumatak.
Tangina, ang hirap palang magpanggap na masaya ka kung sa loob mo durog na durog ka na.
I looked at Maddie. She's giving me some weird looks.
"Will you quit giving me those queer looks?"
"Naiintindihan kita, Bei. I respect your decision kung ayaw mo munang magsalita. Pero ayokong nakikita kang ganyan. So why don't you go and knock some sense into that man of yours."
"He's not mine. He'll never be mine."
Maddie sighed frustratedly.
"Why do I have this feeling na nasasaktan ka kasi ikaw rin ang may kagagawan?"
