going, going, gone ♡ ( fin. )

session four

⇀ radio silence ↼

Sleep was a strange thing, especially for Miss Valentine. It was somewhere she flowed; but she wasn't a fan of dreams, she liked the real things. She liked to taste and to touch, the burn of liquor, the warmth of the sun, the him of an engine. She couldn't remember if she dreamed as a child, Faye had known for a while now that she was the product of a medical miracle. Faye wondered what would it had felt like to die, and that shot her straight out of sleep.

Her eyes shot to the clock on the side, it was ten o'clock at night. Jet didn't wake her up for dinner, and her stomach growled at the thought. Something else was gnawing at her gut as well, Faye wondered if death was all the same as sleeping.

She wondered if she had got the taste while in cryro, but then again; wouldn't she remember it? Faye wasn't much for mystical shit, even though she loved to talk about being Romani. She found gypsy women beautiful, conning men out of their money by revealing a little taste of what's to come. Men often looked at women like herself and thought they had no self respect, it was quite funny. Faye laughed at the fact that when a women laid down with the partner of her choice that they were giving it all away. A women could screw all day with someone and not reveal a single detail about herself, just because you got the physical doesn't mean you even have a glimpse what goes on beneath the surface.

Women like her are star ships; sexy with a shine, but underneath they leak motor oil and scream for life while fighting gravity with fire for lips and a cock pit of a smile.

Faye shoved her hair out of her face, it was soft from the washing she had done earlier.

She took pride in herself and her ideals, and she didn't give a damn about the other shit.
It didn't matter what a man thought of her, cause even if a man were to hate her; as long as she dressed up nice and arched her back pretty— he would buy her a drink.

That's all that mattered.

At least that's what she liked to think, Faye longed to be invincible. Feelings were for women and soft women were useless, they waited for everyone else; and the world would never care for them.

Faye knew she'd never be loved the way she was, she was filthy; but she didn't care about the men of the world.

She didn't want a single one of them, she never let anyone into her bed. She hated having to put out, she played coy and naive. Faye had been in some forceful situations, one's she'd never like to talk about or relive.

Having a man try to take advantage of you would always remind Faye how weak she was. It made her want to rip out hearts and teeth, she was lucky in a sad way.

Not all women were built like her, not every girl learned the hard way, not every women was ready for a fight every second of their lives.

Faye shoved off the covers, she wanted some air.  She couldn't breath with all that thinking.

⚜

Air came in the form of Spike Spiegel. She stood in the doorway of the makeshift hospital, Faye wasn't going to stop. She planned on going for a smoke outside, but a small part of her couldn't keep herself away.

Jet hadn't mentioned anything about doing a brain scan just yet, they had the technology, but the both of them probably didn't want to know. It had been a week since they dragged him in half dead. His face was still bruised and his body still being kept alive by machines. The sight didn't hit her in the chest in the same way, maybe she had become accustomed.

Faye couldn't stop the stray tears slipping down her cheeks. Her eyes a wavering ocean, emerald and glowing in the dim lighting.

"Hey cowboy," She whispered while wiping her eyes. "I wonder if that thongs true, the one where people can hear when they are in coma's. I mean I was in cryro but I don't remember hearing anything— maybe I didn't want to. Do you?"

Faye swallowed hard, realizing she had taken strides and now stood at Spike's bedside. His hair had grown, the odd dark clumps covering his forehead. She brushed it away with shaky hands and a smile.

"Do you wanna hear me?" She asked trembling, but Faye knew full well he would've thought she had lost her mind. He would've cracked a smile while he  pulled out a cigarette letting it balance between his teeth wrestling with the lighter before the warm huff of smoke was tangible.

She missed that smile, and she knew it was stupid. It was utterly pointless to care for a man like Spike, he was a reckless fool. Faye was no better but she knew when to quit, she was more narcissistic than she was suicidal.

Her face contorted in anger remembering Jet's promise of dinner. She didn't even know what time it was, "He forgot to call me to eat." She grumbled taking a step back, and just as she was about to turn she heard a rustle.

It was soft and barely alive just like him. She shook and stared. His hand had bunched the bedsheets for a singular second before they slipped from his slender fingertips. An uptick in the heart monitor could be heard before it settled back down. Faye didn't know if she should move in fear for Spike to lose the little grip on life he had.

A panic set inside her, and a scary thought popped into her mind as she slowly backed out've the room with held breath.

Maybe he was listening.