going, going, gone ♡ ( fin. )

session five

⇀cracked bulbs ↼

Faye had lost her grip, that's what that was; a lost grip. She hadn't seen a thing and even if she had, she needed to barge into Jet's room at an unnatural hour. She couldn't disturb him now, and that was the excuse she used as she breathlessly made it into the hallway.

Her nerves set her on fire; her heart doing summersaults against her rib cage. Her slender hand braced against the wall adjacent to the room Spike was in. He had pressed the airlock button sealing the room.

" He was still comatose, still comatose, still coma, still in a coma he was still, coma, coma, coma, C O M A , HE'S STILL IN A FUCKING COMA !"

Faye couldn't hold back, an unnatural tone left her throat. She screamed and pounded against the wall going against her original panicked idea to keep the secret from Jet. He would know now with all her pounding on the wall.

She was gasping for air as she sunk forward, the loose material of her pajama shirt slipped off her shoulder. Her forehead leaned against the crisp metal of the wall, fingers trembling making their own song for the rusted bolts to dance to.

Faye couldn't make any mental sense, but she knew she was starving. She swallowed down the next bought of rage that bubbled up. She had been told she made too much racket, but it was never to this degree. She never saw herself losing her grip. Faye never thought she'd shred her vocal chords for a selfish suicidal shithead, but he was more than that. Deep down she knew; behind those folded cigarettes was a warm smile, and pretty teeth. She just wanted to see that stupid face of his, she wanted to see the thrill in his eyes.

Her stomach convulsed; Faye knew she had to take better care of herself. She craved some bourbon and the burn of a cigarette, she wanted to choke on the smoke. Faye wanted to burn somewhere else, anywhere else other than her heart.

She banged her head forward against the wall, wincing as tears slid down her cheeks. Sweat forming on her skin, as she shuddered.

"Fuck you…." She spat to no one,
and then she leaned back letting her hands fall back from the wall. Her body landed backwards. She coughed as her back connected with the harsh floor of the hallway, her shirt rode up revealing soft skin. Her shorts bunched up as she raised her legs to the wall, stretching. The curve of her full thighs, she eyed her hips from this angle as she contorted herself for utterly no purpose other than her own personal distraction.

Faye heaved a sigh, her mouth itching for something. She put her lower lip between her teeth, and as she began to relax in this position accepting the turn of events. Laying between a half dead deadbeat and a bonsai loving fool. They were giving the Bermuda triangle a run for her money with all they couldn't seem to find.

She understood now why Edward laid around on the floor all day. It gave Faye a greater understanding, even if it made her look stupid. And she did look stupid; her purple hair fell around in short strands, her clothes awkward on her frame, but the cold floor calmed her.

A woosh down the hall coming in Jet's direction stopped her thoughts. He poked his head out at her, eyebrowz raised; "You done giving yourself a concussion?" He had his bulky arms crossed over his chest favoring his left side.

Faye scoffed raising her legs higher and rotating her ankles, "If I was out've commission who'd run this place?"

Jet returned the noise tenfold, "what have you been doing exactly? I mean really; you stole all our money for the damn casino's, you barely pulled your own weight and you didn't even try to watch out for Ed…" He mumbled eyes averted and for a second Faye wondered if her behavior was actually something that could upset someone, let alone Jet.

"The past is in the past."

He laughed dryly, "That was a little less then a month ago Faye."

That stung, and reminded her that everything was closer than it seemed. Maybe when things were painful, it made time go slower.

"I had something to tell you." She grumbled, puffing out air to move the hair from her face.

"You sure you didn't give yourself brain damage?" He countered childishly in a tired voice.

"I'm gonna give you brain damage ." Faye growled, pushing herself into a normal position the moment of playfulness left the room as quickly as it came.

She adjusted her clothes trying to get her head on straight, it ached a little. Maybe Jet was right…..

"What is it Faye?" He asked quietly and the panic rose back up.

She eyed Spike's new door, "He moved." She said easily.

Jet jolted, rushing forward; "He what ?!"
He rushed into the hallway, going right passed Faye as he jammed the airlock to enter the room.

She stayed rooted outside on the floor, not wanting to look anymore. She heard Jet fiddling about in there and Faye figured it was a good time to leave. After all, this was his area of expertise, and she really didn't want to be here anymore.

She pushed herself up off the floor and started off down the hall to the kitchen.

☾

She found the keys to the Redtail on her way past her bedroom, she decided to get dressed too. Her signature yellow suit, minus the heeled white shoes. She walked in her nude thigh-high stockings. She yanked open the fridge, holding it with her slender hip. She yanked out the bottle of bourbon and whatever was left of the stale orange juice. She mixed it together in the tallest glass they had, stuffing her key in her waistband. She fumbled for a pack in the drawer with the dishes, and she set one between her lips.

Inhaling sharply when it met the kiss of the  lighter; She puffed sideways, going to the hangar deck. Jet had parked the bebop back on the dock and as she left she hears Jet calling her name from where she left him.

She didn't want to hear it, Faye wanted to be herself again. She wanted to feel numb and reckless again.

She took her silly drink with her chasing it down with smoke as she situated herself in the Redtail. It revved to life and she sighed in relief at the sound, She tossed her empty glass out the closing cockpit watching it shatter along with her inhibitions.

Her communicator in the ship rang but she let it go off, she was no where near drunk and she couldn't handle a conversation without more liquor. Faye didn't want to drink in the dingy ship filled with hollow memories of what will never amount to anything.

Even if Spike wakes up soon, nothing would amount to what she pined for. She couldn't even think of committing either, they were too different. She hit the controls and yanked back the handles sending her hurtling forward, and for a moment she saw the appeal that Spike did.

Shriveled cigarettes and a burning feeling in your gut telling you to run faster then the shadows, and right now; that was the bebop.

A shadow she couldn't figure out how to light up again, it wasn't the same, and maybe it would be better off that way.

Who was she fooling, she missed it.
They had all belonged there, even if it was a fleeting moment, She rolled her eyes letting smoke filling the surrounding area, hiting the filters to help alleviate the mess. She punched in coordinates to Callisto, thinking back to the man who was beautiful and different that other night she ran away when she felt too comfortable. He wasn't gonna be there.

Faye winced at the memory and fired the engine harder. She wanted out of mars this fucking second.