With Make Me A Channel Of Your Peace playing through my Audi's stereo, I waited outside Erika's house, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel to the rhythm of the choir. I was just going to drop her off and then head back home, but hopefully Harry would get a glance of me before I left. Wait, what? Why would you want that?
Before I had more of a chance to contemplate why I wanted Harry to see my hair curled and my makeup done, Erika threw open the door of my car, already reeking of booze. "Hey, bitch!"
"Erika, that is a derogatory term, and why are you already drunk?"
"Better question, why are you dressed like a nun?" She eyed my dress up and down.
"Because I'm just dropping you off."
"If you were just dropping me off, you wouldn't have done your makeup and hair too. Unless..." she trailed off as her tiny brain tried to put the pieces together. Suddenly she gasped loudly and dramatically, her supple lips splitting into a wide grin. "You have a crush on a boy and want him to see you, don't you?"
Thou shall not lie I reminded myself. "Yes," I blurted out before I had a chance to think about it.
She squealed loudly, making me cringe, my ear drums bursting. "Char! Now you have to come to the party! But definitely not like that!"
"Erika, no, I really shouldn't go-"
Before I had a chance to stop her, she dragged me out of the car and whipped out a pair of scissors from her purse. She hastily cut the bottom hem of my dress so that, instead of falling mid-calf, it fell just below where my underwear ended in a smooth hem. "Now for the top," she said to herself, tapping the scissors against her supple lips as she examined my dress.
"No, Erika, you ruined my best Sunday dress-"
Again, she began cutting more before I had a chance to protest further. She cut the sleeves off my dress and cut the neckline, making it a skin tight strapless black dress. "Still needs something more. What bra are you wearing underneath?"
"My black one, why? I have only have the one."
"Perfect!" she squealed and began cutting again. She cut my dress further down so now the neckline of the dress fell just below my breasts and put my gold pin on the stomach of my dress. It reminded me of the spanx that my mom wore underneath her dresses. "That will definitely get his attention, whoever he is."
"But, Erika, my bare breasts are just hanging out."
"No, you're wearing a bra that looks like my grandma would wear. And like I said, you will definitely get his attention. You've got mine." At those words, I perked up enough that I was sure I could cut glass.
Before I knew what was happening, I was driving to Harry's party wearing the tight black dress below my breasts with my bra exposed. What would God think? I was going to hell for sure now. I pulled up to Harry's driveway, where hundreds of cars were parked outside. I suddenly broke down in sobs, definitely smearing my mascara down my creamy cheeks.
"Char, what's wrong? Oh no, no tears." She wiped my tears off my cheeks, holding my face in her hands. "What's wrong?"
"I can't do this. What would God think?"
"God is cheering you on right now, babe, trust me!" she assured. "Look," she turned her head upwards as she spoke, "God, if you're listening and watching Erika and you think she is heading down the wrong path, let lightning strike me down now."
A moment later, a sudden lightning bolt struck down on the tree down the street. It shot through it loudly and made the tree burst into flames. I shrieked out of pure shock and horror. No rain was in the sky and no thunderstorm was predicted, I checked before I left.
"Hey, I said strike me down. It struck the tree, so we're fine."
"You're right," I agreed. I wiped my mascara off my cheeks and followed Erika into the party. Music was blaring loudly from the house, colourful lights shining through the windows. I reminded myself that God gave me permission to go to the party as I walked through the front door.
It was my first party, so what I saw came as a big surprise. The smell of urine was overpowering. There was so many people, talking, dancing, shouting, drinking. There was a small group near the kitchen playing yahtzee in a circle, shouting and screaming as the dice rolled in the middle of their circle. We walked in slowly, Erika holding my hand the entire time, which I liked. To the left, people were playing Jenga and licking some white powder off of each piece as they took it out from the tower. The lights were off in the house, but there were many colourful spotlights flickering around the house. The music was booming so loud, I could feel it in my chest. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw him standing there in his leather jacket and a pair of swimming trunks. His hair was pushed back so effortlessly, his tattoos were visible on his exposed chest, and a wide grin was split across his face as he was talking to his friend Niall from school. I felt a cage of butterflies explode in my stomach when his eyes moved to mine. I knew I had to have him. And God gave me permission to go to the party. I told myself as long as I confessed my sins, I would be alright. I would just go to another church tomorrow morning.
"Char," Erika's melodic voice rang through my ears, over the music. I felt her hot breath in my ear as she said my name, making goosebumps spread across my forearms. I stared into her brown orbs that were so close to mine. Her lips were so close to mine. "Want a shot?" she asked as she held out a small cup, that was so small it must have been for a fairy, with a clear liquid in it.
I debated for a moment. I shouldn't purposely inebriate myself, because that felt completely illogical. But there was something about the sign from God that I could go into the party, the realization that I could just confess my sins at another church tomorrow morning, and the outfit Char cut for me, that made me feel freer than I had ever felt in my entire life. I touched my fingers to the pin and rubbed it lightly. Should I take the shot or leave it?
