i was all over him

5

Hi I've been busy, but now I'm all graduated from college! Wow now I get to find a real job! I feel like this chapter is clunky because I wrote it like over the course of a month, so sorry about that! I'll be posting more regularly now, so see you guys in the next one. X Milo

Being in that house was haunting enough, even without the recognition that I would soon be talking to his ghost. It wasn't a walk to the living room, but a march. Seven white candles had been set and lit, furniture had been rearranged into a circle, and my heart only sunk. The air was filled with energy, not good or bad, but nervous. Laura Dun clutched onto the cross necklace around her neck. Bill Dun grumbled, Ashley's tight-lipped smile was both optimistic and slightly apprehensive.

At the head of the circle, on the opposite side, tiny Ruby sat in the large and grandiose accent chair, practically swallowing her up, her little feet didn't even consider touching the ground. Behind her, an eighth candle, dripped crimson into its holder. Her neat dark curls were mussed by the thick silk handkerchief that obscured her ember eyes. The familiar sight sent a shiver through me and made my hair stand.

I wondered how she, or any child had ever gotten used to this, sitting in between lit candles, feeling their warmth, but being wrapped into the darkness. A young girl of maybe 6 or 7, trained to talk to the ghost of her uncle, dead before her birth. I'd find out later that she regularly conversed with him, she loved her Uncle Josh, but had only met him after his death.

It had been years since I'd found myself in a welcoming ceremony, I had largely avoided them in my adulthood to decent success. Thinking back on it, the only ceremony I could really remember was the time with my great grandfather, that I had taken on the blindfold, and had begged my parents the entire time to let me leave, to break the connection. I told them I didn't want to hear the weak and ancient voice that whispered into my ears, but they refused. As they had removed the blindfold, I wasn't surprised to find it was damp with my desperate tears.

I had been ten. And now this little girl, barely over half that age, hummed, smiled as she waited in apprehension to speak to her Uncle Josh.

Andrew shot daggers in my direction, from my left, Jordan sat in between him and Ashley, and to the left of Ashley was Ruby. Laura Dun gave me the mercy of separating Bill and myself and I thank her to this day for it.

After we had all settled, Ashley sighed contentedly, and squeezed her daughter's little hand. Blindly, Ruby searched until she successfully found Bill's hand and hers disappeared behind his reddened and blotchy thumbs. But he held her delicately, and for a moment his wet brow almost softened.

"Tyler?" Laura's palm faces up toward my face, and apologizing, I took it.

Andrew hesitated a moment to take mine.

Soon enough, all of us were clutching hands, one unbroken chain, and for a few moments, a wave of calm fell over each of us. With Ruby's help, we would each have our chance to speak with the dead. Really, the talk would do nothing to relax me, in fact, it would unnerve me, as it did speaking to any specter, but I couldn't help feeling that harsh edge softened and whittled down by the scents of cake and the smiles on each of the Duns' faces.

What would he have to say to us, I wondered? What had he felt, what had it been like, his consciousness taking a full 7 years to stir, to collect itself until it became something of value? Did he feel now? What had it been like, relearning, recollecting memories, was it slow like a snowball rolling down a hill, or was it an avalanche, all of those memories, all of a sudden, all at once? What did that make him think of our final moments together?

Along with each of my absurd questions, there was a more selfish one attached to it. Would he remember me? How would he feel about me being here? Did he hate me? Did he remember what I did and what I said to him last? How would death have changed him?