Flatmates

10

The website went live the day before the merch was due to arrive, and thanks to Will, George and Alex's promotion, it was selling ridiculously fast. I still hadn't seen or spoken to Alex, so George or Will must have given him the hoodie and asked him to do it.

I plucked up the courage to speak to George about it, worried more about Alex than my embarrassment. He was really good, gave me a hug, and talked with me for a few hours. He promised to speak to Alex, and told me that Alex struggles with stuff sometimes. He said it probably wasn't me.

I was sitting at the breakfast bar with George when my phone rang. It was Will, telling me that the merch had arrived. It was time to finally do some work for the what felt like in forever. I hugged George goodbye and headed up to Will's apartment.

I sat in Will's room for a good few hours, printing as many invoices and postage labels as I could before he was due to film with George. I dumped it all on the floor of what was now essentially my office, made myself a quick coffee and got to work. Something I always enjoyed with my previous work as an artist was packing the orders, I have no idea why but I did. I had my Spotify playlist playing on my phone, singing along as I went. I was probably having far too much fun for what I was doing.

We had arranged the boxes by size, and written the design on the front so that it was easier for me to grab and pack. About five orders in I heard a small cough come from the doorway. I looked up to see Alex stood there in jogging bottoms and a hoodie, a pink baseball cap on his head and his hands in his pockets.

I had spent so long thinking about the moment that Alex would finally appear, that I didn't know what to say. I simply stood up, grabbing the orders I had packaged, and placed them in a box I had emptied. Then I began pulling the next items out of the box, dumping them where I had been sat. As I slipped back down onto the floor, Alex finally spoke.

'I'm sorry.' I'm sorry? Is that really all he has to say? I stay silent, slipping items into a bag, sealing it and sticking the postage label on the front. I discard the rubbish to one side, put the parcel on my other and start on the next.

'Please Jess, I need to talk to you.'

I look up, anger coursing through me. He needs to talk to me? What about me for the past week?

'I have tried and tried all week Alex. A WHOLE WEEK. You ghosted every single message I sent you, ignored me every time I knocked on your door' I say through gritted teeth, sealing another package, putting the postage label on the front, discarding the rubbish to one side and adding the parcel to the new pile I had started.

Alex walked across the room, grabbing an invoice and pulling the corresponding items from the boxes. He sat on the floor in front of me, almost forcing me to look at him.

'I freaked out. Why would you ever be interested in me? I needed to get out before I got hurt. Turns out I didn't manage that, because I don't think I have ever hurt as much as I do now,' Alex mumbles, wiping his eye on the cuff of his hoodie as he packaged the order. He puts the postage label on the front before he speaks again.

'I didn't mean to hurt you in the process. Feelings scare me.. I always end up getting hurt. I didn't want you to hurt me' he whispered as he placed the parcel on the pile. 'Please just give me a chance to make this right?'

'You should have spoken to me, we could have talked it through' I say. 'We didn't need to get to his stage. I will give you a chance, but just as friends' I say, placing my hand on his knee. 'But that means starting with helping me package these orders' I laugh, standing and grabbing more items from the boxes lining the walls.

'Just as friends.'