Married To The Game

C:9 | My Dirty Secret

By the time we had reached Florida, my mind was racing with questions for Josh. Where was he staying at? Who was he staying with? Where is this job at? I just realized he barley told me anything other then he was moving for promotion. I called Shay and she was more then excited to pick me up. It took her hardly no time to get here. "We need to talk when we get home." I whispered to Josh, moments before Shay pulled up at the bus stop outside the airport. "Sure honey." He grabbed our suit cases and took them towards Shay's car. Me and Shay make a bee-line for each other. "You come back and bring Boris Kodjoe with you?" She said, referencing Josh's fair skin and similar facial features. "That's Josh." "Josh? Josh Josh?" "Josh Josh." "How the hell-" "It's a long story. Can we just get on the road? We'll talk later." She rolled her eyes, hence me cutting the conversation short. I didn't even know what was really going on myself. All I knew is that he had a promotion and was moving. I didn't want to over think it though, and make Josh think I was suspicious. I guess this could all be fate, or another chance at love. I doubt God would bless me while I was polluting the earth. "Hey, I'm Josh." He slid in the backseat, looking up at Shay. "Hey, I've heard so much about you." I looked over at her. "All good things, I hope?" "Oh, yeah. I know she's happy you're here now." He looks at me through the mirror, and winks. I smiled. I decided I was going to tell Josh when we got to my place. And how he took it was up to him. I'd rather rip the band aid off now, then wait until he gets comfortable. More then likely he'll latch on and just accept it because he doesn't know anybody out here. Being in a new city makes you vulnerable. At least, I hope that's how it's gonna go. I know Josh hated the hood bitch type. My thoughts ate away at me the whole car ride. By the time I had reached my apartment I still hadn't came up with what I was going to say to Josh. It was between I sell drugs or I'm a drug dealer.

"Welcome home!" Shay placed the car in park and turns around to look at Josh, then me. "You coming in? Let's have a drink." I was so glad I finally managed to move back out. Staying with Shay started becoming exhausting, so after about a month of working for Omari I had moved out. Even though my body was beyond drained I invited Shay inside anyways because, let's face it, she wasn't going to just not come in. Josh brought the bags in and I headed straight for the kitchen. This drink was calling my name. "So?" Shay hissed the second Josh slipped into the bedroom. "He got a promotion. But, they told him he had to move down here to get it, though."  "And...he took it?" "He's here." "So now what?"  "Now what what?" Surely Shay didn't think we would just up and be together. I know I always talked about Josh, and the idea of us being together was definitely welcomed. But we hadn't seen each other in years. We haven't even had the talk yet. As far as I knew Josh was as good as gone. Josh resurfaces into the kitchen. Shay kicked off the interrogation. "So, Josh! Where you staying at?"
"So, I haven't really found a spot yet. My job's paying for a hotel until I find something permanent."  "Oh, okay. Who do you work for?"  "Shay." I chimed in, clearing my throat. She was asking all the questions that I needed to be asking.  "It's a private company. Will you excuse me? I gotta call my boss and let him know I made it." Josh gave me a peck on the cheek before slipping outside. Hearing him say that made me relaxed. I don't know why I was being cautious in the first place. I guess just seeing him up and move like that didn't sit right with me. But now that I thought about it, it was totally normal to move to pursue your career. And here I was, thinking Josh was hiding something, as if i'm not the drug dealer.

"I'll let you get some rest. Call me when you wake up." Shay let herself out. I went into my bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. Now that the time was coming to tell Josh, I was starting to have second thoughts. Maybe I just shouldn't tell him. I mean, what difference did it make how I got my paper? As long as I had it, he should be grateful that a bitch was working. It may not be the legal way but it beat stripping. Fuck it. I decided against telling Josh my dirty secret. If I told him that I might as well had told him everything. Like everything everything. From what happened with Marcus to what took place in New York. I didn't even realize I had graduated from drug dealer to killer. I had someone's blood on my hands. Literally. I looked down at my hands and noticed them dripping blood. The blood had already done a good amount of damage by dripping over the carpet in a little pool of blood. "Wha-?" My hands began to shake. Did I cut myself? Where was this blood coming from? I let out a well expected scream. "Esther, what's wrong?" Josh said, coming to see what the fuss was about. "My hands! I'm ... i'm...bleeding!" I haul ass to the bathroom, almost knocking him down in the process. "What happened? Bleeding how?" He follows me. "Esther what are you talking about? You're not bleeding." He takes a hold of my hands and examines them over the sink. "What?" I take my hands back to see for myself. It was true. I had been hallucinating the day I shot Vito, and I had to touch his bloody body. "Esther, are you okay?" Josh seemed genuinely concerned. And I know I probably looked like a nut job screaming bloody murder. "It's been a long day," I sighed, leaving the bathroom. "You're right. You've been flying all day, you should get some rest. You're probably jet lagged,that's all. I'm going to call a Uber and check into my hotel." He kissed my forehead. "Thanks Josh." I needed the rest. I had stuff to do now that I was back. The first thing on my list was to talk to Vito's connect. Hopefully him and Vito weren't that close, and only had a business relationship. In drug world you should never have too close relationships. I didn't know how cut throat Vito's boss would be. I assumed he was apart of the mob. Most Italians that dealt with the drug game up North were.
I said my goodbyes to Josh, making note of the hotel he would be staying at.

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