"As if nothing happened
I told myself that this was just a dream.
But when I closed my eyes and opened them again,
I wanted to wake up in relief."
____
Ms. Seong liked, no, loved the song Jihoon and I made together. The task felt herculean, if I didn't have him by my side, I don't know how that song could've turned out.
My batchmates all bawled over the song once they played it over graduation. Even though Jihoon insisted that I take all the credit, I still mentioned him over and over to those who asked about the song. I told them all about how much of a genius he was, he wasn't at all pleased with that fact because now, a lot of people asked him to write lyrics they can give to their crush.
Over the summer, he and I grew closer than we were before, close enough to be over at each other's houses. His parents, by the way, were amazing.
During the summer, however, I experienced a breakup, a bad one at that, so I was over at his house more than he was at mine.
____
I knocked on the door, tears threatening spill over my eyes. I had no tissues to wipe them with, I had no tissues to wipe them with, in my arms was a blanket and I had a duffel bag slung on my shoulder.
Jihoon opened the door, rubbing his eye. His eyes suddenly widened at the sight of me.
"Noona, what are you doing here?" He asked.
"Jihoon-ah," I choked out, a tear streaming down my cheek, "Are your parents home?"
He furrowed his eyebrows, "N-no, they're not. Again, why are you-?"
"It's Jinyoung!" At this point, I couldn't hold back my tears, Jihoon, on the other hand, looked distraught.
"What did he do?" He asked angrily as he ushered me in. He took my stuff and laid them on his couch. He sat me down as well, rubbing my shoulders.
"He-he broke up with me and-and—!" I broke down into sobs again.
Jihoon's angered expression softened into pity. He headed to the kitchen and came back with a glass of water.
He sat next to me, rubbing my back as I gulped down the glass water. I sniffled ang glanced at him, he had a look of concern washed over his face. I managed to chuckle and wiped away tear stains from my eyes.
"I'm...sorry for barging in like this. I don't know what came over me." I laughed at myself.
"Why come here of all places?" He asked getting up. He crossed his arms and waited for a response.
"I feel comfortable when I'm around you." I blurted out. I looked up at Jihoon who had his eyebrows raised.
"It's just—if I talked to my girl friends, they'll convince me that I deserved better than him, something like that." I glanced at him, he still looked confused.
"What I'm trying to say is, I feel like none of them would actually listen and ask about how I feel." I explained slowly. Jihoon nodded silently, though I'm sure he's still confused.
"All you have to know is that I feel the most comfortable when I'm around you." I concluded.
He rubbed the back of his head and averted his eyes, "Do you want to stay at my parents' bedroom, then?" He asked.
I nodded, I picked up my blanket and duffel bag but he offered to carry it.
"My, you're such a gentleman~ Jihoonie is growing up~!" I teased him, he rolled his eyes in turn and went up the staircase.
He opened the door to his parents' bedroom. Compared to his room, their bedroom was bigger. They had a bigger bed too, along with lots of space.
Jihoon put my stuff down and cleared his throat, "You know where my room is, right? Just knock if you need something." He told me.
I nodded as he went out the door.
"And here I was planning to watch Sailor Moon with him." I laughed to myself. I turned on my laptop and brought out other snacks from my bag.
"Guess I'll watch without him." I muttered while searching for episodes of the anime.
____
Midway through an episode, I got bored and frustrated over Usagi and Mamoru's happy relationship. I went out the door and decided to check up on him. I wanted to offer him companionship, something I wanted, along with anime with snacks.
I knocked on his door, "Jihoon-ah, Do you want to watch some shounen anime with me?" I asked. Through the door, I heard mumbling but he didn't open the door.
I decided to try going in myself and silently cracked the door open.
Jihoon was sprawled over his desk, he was sleeping soundly.
I went over to him and saw he held a pencil loosely in one hand. Underneath his other arm was a piece of paper with something written on it.
I became interested and slowly slid the paper out from under his arm. He subconsciously lifted up his arm and shifted into a more comfortable position on the desk, the pencil rolled away.
I stifled a laugh and read what was written on the paper.
Don't be sorry
Don't worry
Don't be afraid
Now, stop crying
To me, you are very precious
I knew myself that this wasn't for me. But at that moment, I wanted to let myself think that he did it to comfort me, and that he planned for all of this to happen.
But I shook my head, clearing those thoughts away. I placed the paper back on the table but before I could even step away, Jihoon mumbled something.
"Noona..."
I knew this was him sleeptalking, but I responded to him anyway.
"Yes?"
"It's going to be okay."
It's going to be ok.
