𝔩𝔦𝔪𝔦𝔱𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔰 (𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔫𝔰𝔲𝔫𝔤) ✓

七

"the dream that shook my world last night"

i feel so empty.

feeling the crisp breeze from my open window brushing across my face as i lay in bed, i struggle to take in a shaky breath.

i barely register the familiar feeling of tears rolling down my cheeks, brain to busy trying not to shut down.

fuck. why do i have to ruin everything?

i was happy. i was happy being chenle's friend, just being there for each other and enjoying each other's company.

so why does my stomach flip every time he smiles at me? why is my mouth dry every time i catch him biting his lip? why can't i stop thinking about how perfectly his hand fits in mine?

my pillowcase is wet at this point, but i can't bring myself to care.

it's all my fault. my stupid self has to ruin everything good in my life.

i'm the reason mom left. she didn't want to raise a failure.

i'm a failure.

i'm gonna ruin the only thing going for me.

i can't lose chenle.

i just can't.

i would die.

and this time nobody would stop me.

a/n
pleasedontkillmeimsorry

also i just posted a yuwin oneshot, if y'all are interested it's a college!au