"We've all at some point in our life encountered that feeling of secretly liking someone, secretly having your eyes on them, secretly wishing they knew, but deep inside you were afraid of what the outcome would be. So you kept it unnoticed. Kept it hidden, locked inside, just hoping that maybe one day that moment would finally come when they would notice you!"
~Telisa McLaughlin
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.
.
.
.
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What are we gonna do now ?
"I don't know Saff."
You haven't eaten for like two weeks!
"I know Rosé."
Your not gonna graduate at this rate Jacob
"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT TOPAZ!!?"
Jacobs schizophrenia was getting the better of him. At any random point of the day the 'bad ones' would take over and make living much harder for the young boy. Even the one that Jacob reveres to as friends are starting to make things hard for him.
Jacobs family had long deserted him and during that time he spent all his waking , and sleeping moments with his 'siblings'. The had set up a tipi in Jacobs room and they'd just enjoy each others company. Sometimes they wouldn't even speak and just savour the preciousness of the moment. On the day of the departure: Cherokee,Kyro and Kieren had prepared a special breakfast for Jake and a note saying goodbye. Since then, Jacob has spent his time simply walking and talking. Sometimes crying, sometimes screaming and on his worse days- standing on the curb of the pavement contemplating whether he should jump in front of a car or not.
Jacob had not even made contact with another person for a couple of weeks and without his pills or anyone to help him get through the tough times (I.e. Chresanto and Rayan.) Jacob was a step away from a lunatic asylum.
Jake new he had to seek help but his stubbornness got the better of him, he was too proud to look for anyone's pity.
We're back fag, missed us ?
"No, leave me alone."
Listen b*tch your a disgrace just die already
"Please don't start this again"
No one loves you
"I am loved you wish you were me !" Shouted Jake, referring to his two male best friends, but also trying to convince himself.
Did you honestly think Ray and Chresanto lived you? It was pity.
...
So go ahead, jump I front of that truck.
End it all.
The hypnotic voice somehow soothed Jacob and he felt compelled to follow its instructions. As Jacob edged his way closer too curb he hears people around him letting out muffled screams telling him to stop and he could hurt himself, not knowing this was the point. Before he ran into the road, he wanted to take in his surroundings. He looked around:
A young couple, practically eating each others faces off
A homeless man looking for food in a dustbin
And a boy, he couldn't make out who it was but he was staring at Jacob intently.
Nice.
Jacob ran into the middle of the road and waited for a large truck to hit him, to put him out of his misery. He closed his eyes with a smile on his face. He couldn't even hear the voices in his head or of real people telling him to move out the way
"Goodbye cruel worl-"
Jacob felt himself getting lifted off his feet, he opened his eyes and felt all over his body.
"Am I dead ?!?"
"No." A distinctive voice croaked out .
Jake's heart overwhelmed with a warm gushy feeling. He was so glad that someone had stopped him. When he turned around and saw Rayan, his eyes grew glossy with tears and gave him the biggest bear hug he could manage.
"That's enough Prince."
"Ray, I can't take it anymore; I haven't eaten, I haven't slept your the first prison I've talked to in weeks. All I've done is walk around in circles.."
"I know how you feel," Rayan stood up and put his arm out helping Jacob up while ignoring angry drivers. "Follow me."
***
"This is it."
Rayan switched on the light of his den, just outside his actual home.
"It's wonderful."
Rayan scratched the back if his neck in an embarrassed manner, other then himself Jacob was the first person too see this was quite shocked by his reaction.
"I mean, you can change it around if you want I don't even li-"
"It's perfect, just for you and me. Our own special place !"
Rayan blushed a dark red, Jacob didn't know the effect he had on Rayan and I'll tell you. It was a big one.
Jacob and rayan ended up sitting in the floor. With Jacobs head in Ray's lap while he stroked his hair in a comforting manner. No words had to be exchanged for them to know that the love was there. Words to describe this: Peace, love and euphoria.
Don't worry this face
Hold my hand in error
Don't tell of this place
It's for me and you only
Softly, softly know me
Don't worry this face
Hold my hand in error
Don't tell of this place
It's for me and you only
You give me love, pa
You know you give me love, papa
In an ultraviolet way
You know you give me love, pa
You know you give me love, pa, papa
Ultraviolet
You know you give me love, pa
You know you give me love, papa
In an ultraviolet way
You know you give me love, pa
You know you give me love, pa
Ultraviolet
You give me love, pa
You know you give me love, papa
In an ultraviolet way
You know you give me love, pa
You know you give me love, pa, papa
Ultraviolet
You know you give me love, pa
You know you give me love, papa
In an ultraviolet way
You know you give me love, pa
You know you give me love, pa, papa
Ultraviolet
"I promise I'll take care of you Jake, I don't break my promises."
(I don't know why but the update didn't show up first time...)
YOU ARE READING
Castles ~ (Royce)
FanfictionFag.Queer.Disgusting. Words I hear everyday, but not from the people around me, but the voices in my head. I, Jacob Perez have schizophrenia. Schizophrenia, the voices inside me. Schizophrenia, killing me slowly. Schizophrenia, my world is crashing...
