You are older than me, yet you are so nice Kim Seokjin. I was 4 years younger but it didn't stop you from being kind to me.
Sometimes you'd go out of your way to make sure I was okay.
You have a beautiful smile Kim Seokjin, I like when you smiled ear to ear when I asked how your day was.
You took me to meet your friends and they were very kind.
We all went to see the latest movies. All the time, I remembered how you made me feel a lot safer by holding my hand.
You laughed at the horrifying scenes, busting jokes and providing me comfort, I had never been so giggly on a night like that.
I wonder why you were so kind to me. I didn't deserve someone like you by my side, Kim Seokjin.
You always took me to the garden and you'd show me all the pretty flowers.
Then you'd say that I was the prettiest one.
All those pretty words you'd use to describe them with such rich taste.
By you doing that it made me feel as if I was right there.
Like I could see it.
How could I tell you I was color blind? How could I tell you that our worlds were different?
I wanted to show you I was cool. I wanted to tell you that my world didn't need color. That it only needed you.
How could I tell you I was slowly going blind. You seemed so happy to be by my side.
I couldn't take that joy and make you miserable. Over and over I wonder if I am doing the right thing.
By not telling you what lurked for me around the corner.
I have cried my tears, you've made me so happy. Maybe one day I could tell you.
Me being so young, I think I have all the time to tell you that I'm growing weaker.
Everything you've done for me. I am grateful. Your words are piercing Kim Seokjin.
You mean what you say, I laugh when you tell me that you'll be here forever. I smiled because I know that I won't be.
When should I tell you?
Today you are supposed to be coming over, I shall tell you then.
Will things be awkward?
Maybe he already knows my fate. Today I will cry as you sing me, my final lullaby..Kim Seokjin.
You would sing me songs of love and you smile when I am tired. Always promising me of tomorrow.
I don't know my tomorrow, I know of today.
Today I will tell you, Kim Seokjin.
"Thank you."
I'm speechless, just like I was when you entered my life. I am relieved that I will exit yours in this way.
You will know that you were my happiness. I will be patient as your anger turns into pleas. I will hold you just like you held me.
You will be sad for a while but I know you will grow to accept my leaving.
Your features are becoming more blurry as time goes on, but I will never forget you Kim Seokjin.
You are twenty-six and you've been apart of my life for two years but now it is time for me to go.
I wonder if it's obvious that I will be leaving soon.
All the gifts I've given your friends, and the countless times I ask to see you all rehearse for me.
The way they sing and dance, it makes you look like a proud father.
Your vibrant style and your hair color that changed like the weather, I would smile and say I liked them.
You laughed when I mistaken the color green for blue.
You said it be magical if we were standing in a field of blue. I blushed and you told me not to worry.
You always said you could tell how I was feeling because I couldn't hide my emotions well.
This is my biggest secret and in a way I am happy you have not discovered it.
But you will today, you will know the truth.
I hope you don't walk away from this. That you embrace it and live happily.
They say that Chamomile is calming. So I brewed a pot just for you and I.
The last thing I want to see is you.
The last thing I want to see is your smile.
Seokjins POV
I always knew, I knew that this day would come my sweet angel. I just didn't now it would come so soon.
I knew from the day I met you. Your small frame and your smile. How shy you got about ordering sorts of foods.
It's always the little things, that I noticed with you.
I was so nice to you because I just knew I'd grow to love you.
And I did.
Those times when I desperately wanted to tell you that I knew all along, but you were so happy. How could I take that away from you?
I guess we were both being selfish.
I will miss our long walks and your lies.
That you could see the world that I did.
You didn't have to lie. I loved you either way.
So today we will make it work. I will be your eyes and words.
I want to be that and much more.
I don't have to go. I don't have to leave.
The silence in your kitchen, the one we sit in right now. It won't be this way forever.
I will be your memories. I will show you how strong I can be by staying by your side.
Your favorite color is yellow, just like the beautiful dress you are wearing right now.
It is yellow and bright like you. Almost as beautiful as your big brown eyes.
You are so calm. And you twinkle like the stars in the sky.
You are so delicate...gentle and soothing.
Just like Chamomile Tea.
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~Mel
