lashton || risk another goodbye

You're Not Sorry.

a/n:

caution: this fanfiction contains content such as swearing, self harm, sexual content, violence, and other things that may not be appropriate for some readers. view at your own risk.

hello!! my name is jenny and i'm the author of this story, i just wanted to drop in and say hello. i hope you enjoy this story, that's all for now, goodbye!

Looking so innocent,
I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before

But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no no, oh

Luke's POV:

Don't do it, Luke. Don't pick up that phone, don't fucking answer him. I'm telling you, he's bad for you, he's only going to mess with your head. I thought to myself. I was laying in my bed, staring at my cell phone that was on my night stand and although I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about him. Damn it, I have to answer him, I can't stay away from him. I swallowed,

"Hello?" I answered, in my most nonchalant voice.

"Luke, I just wanted to um... I guess I just need to say I- I'm sorry." I heard coming through my cell phone, that sweet angelic voice of his. Fuck, I need to get away from him.

"Ashton, this happens all the time, you constantly calling me and apologizing, so why do continue to do this to me? Do you enjoy watching me fall apart? Do you enjoy breaking my fucking heart?" I asked, referring to the events from earlier that day that made me want to cry.

*Flashback*

I skipped through my music, trying to find that one song. I looked around at my surroundings, I was sitting at my normal lunch table, alone, as usual. I didn't have many friends here, except one, Ashton Irwin. Well, I think we're friends anyways, something white, cold and liquidy that was in my hair and dripping down my face snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked up, when suddenly stringy stuff was all over my face, and so was the red sauce from it, I wiped it out of my eyes and noticed that everyone, and I mean everyone was laughing at me. Ashton bent down and started making fun of me, he must've done this. I just wanted to fit at this school, but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't do it. I suddenly felt tears brimming my eyes then I did the only thing I could, I ran, I got up and ran to the bathroom, I sped into one of stalls and brought my knees up to my face and just sat there, silently crying.

*End of flashback*

"Luke, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking..."

"You're not sorry." I said, as I began to cry. I hung up and felt the sensation to cut. I ran to the bathroom, craving the feeling. Where the fuck is it? I dug in the cabinet, I looked under the sink, in the bathtub, everywhere, until I finally spotted it on top of the mirror, I rolled up the sleeves of my Eminem hoodie. I saw scars. Some old, a month and a half ago, and I saw some fresh, 3 days ago.

I pushed the blade to my skin, making sure to go deep. That's right, you better cut deep. You're fucking pathetic, Luke, you can't even get one friend, you worthless, ugly, stupid, faggot. Just kill yourself already, no one would even care, in fact, I bet they'd throw a party. I watched as blood oozed out of the cuts. I was just about to stop, when I kept listening to the voice in my head. Don't stop, you worthless pussy. You deserve this.

"LEAVE ME ALONE." I screamed.

"Luke? Luke, are you okay?" I heard from a familiar voice, my mum. Shit.

"Um yeah, I- I'm f- fine.." I lied.

a/n:

HI MY NAME IS JENNIQUA (jenny) AND IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU ALL, THIS IS MY FIRST LASHTON FANFIC SO SORRY IF IT SUCKS ANYWAYS UM YEAH BYE. ILY.