Believe in Ghosts

Weakness

Okay. This is it. He is going to do this.

He sighs and moves his hand towards the door again.

Just do it Niall, don't be scared. A little voice in his head helps him.

His hand moves slowly, too slow for his liking.

He just can't do it, he is just too scared. Maybe he doesn't want to face the fact that he's a ghost. That he won't be able to talk to his friends. Not to Gwen - the love of his life-. Not even to his fucking fans.

his fans.. What is going to happen to One Direction?

Will the band break up?

Or will they just pretend like he was never in the band anyway?

He shrugs the thoughts out of his head and focusses on his hand again.

His hand is shaking really hard quite hard, he just can't do it.

Do you ever have that feeling when you have to do something but you really can't?

That you try with everything you have, but nothing works?

It is just like when you want to cross the road, but you are too scared that there will suddenly come a car. A car who will take the life out of you..

Okay maybe a bad description, but it's just the fact.

he wants it. But he can't.

He's so mad at myself right now. He's just being a stupid pussy, he thinks.

No wonder why Gwen will never love him back. She will just think he is weak. Fact is, he is weak.

weak, weak, weak.

He never told Gwen he loves her, and now it is too late

weak, weak, weak.. 

He just had to say those words days, weeks, months, maybe even years ago. 

weak, weak, weak.

Maybe if he wasn't so weak and just told it, they'd maybe have the best time of their lives.. What if he just said it?

weak, weak, weak.

He looks at his blue/white hand again and closes his eyes.

He can't be in this room forever. He has to get out of it.

Still with closed eyes, he moves his still shaking hand closer to the door.

He shuts his eyes so thight. Not wanting to open them, maybe if he does it with his eyes closed, he won't be so scared.

When he isn't feeling his hand touch the door -what he already thought what was going to happen- he moves his entire body closer to the door.

He's taking little steps still with his eyes closed. With every little step he takes, he gets more relaxed. Maybe because he's thinking he is almost at the other side of the room, what he hopes he is.

When he took something like 5 little steps, he drops his hand again, letting it fall next to his blue/white body.

He slowly opens his right eye, then his left.

He looks around. He made it, He walked trough the door.

He, Niall Horan did it!

He walked trough a door!

Wait, that isn't something you should be happy about, he should be scared, he should be freaked out. But right now, he isn't. He is happy, because he did. He is actually pretty proud of himself if he has to admit,  because he did something he was scared as fuck for. He did something he is prouf of.