My Gay Experience

Childhood

I remember back to my past, images filling my vision. A small child, me, running about wearing my mother's dresses and heels. He trips, falling down a couple of stairs. He laughs it off, pretending to be on the runway. My mother photographed me doing this, while my father is off to work.

Another memory appears. I'm crying. I remember this. I was in a wedding dress, a large group of men and boys mocking me. I curl into myself as my father bursts into the room. He takes me away, but returned to the men, only to beat them into the ground. This memory always made me sad.

More keep coming. Tea parties with my sister, dress up with my mom, playing dolls with my neighbor's daughters, being called a "girl" and "twinkle toes" for my high voice and walking disability. How could I not see the signs earlier before?