The Home I Needed

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

Dear Diary,

It was nice having a week off. A week away from the looks that people send my way. It has been months since my father went away and it only feels like yesterday. You try and move on, but some people will not let you. Even though you want to put it behind you. It still follows you. Everywhere. Even my friends are different. There is always an iciness in their voice whenever they speak to me, or maybe I imagine it. Why do I feel responsible? Is it my fault? How can I get out from underneath from this shadow? The shadow sometimes is so heavy that I feel like I am drowning. I don't know how long I can keep going like this. I know I am alive, but just only alive. I am not living. I don't enjoy anything anymore because all I feel are the eyes. Eyes that feel like claws carving down my back. I just want it to stop. Will it stop? Or do I have to wait until I leave this town forever? Dr. Glassy says I need to find an outlet, but no outlet wants me. Or do I not want it? I need a change from being just my father's daughter. Is it possible I can be my own person once again?

Betty pressed the tip of her pencil to the paper to write some more, and a knock sounded on her door. She looked up from her journal to see her mother sticking her head in the door.

"Shouldn't you be heading out for school?" Alice asked her walking into the room with a basket of clothes. "If you don't leave now, you are going to be late, and you haven't eaten yet," she told her while putting clothes into her closet.

Betty glanced at her clock. Her mother was right. She would be late if she didn't get going. She closed her journal placing it into her drawer. She moved off the bed going over to her vanity table for her book bag slinging it on to her shoulder. "I will see you tonight, Mom," she said moving to the door.

"Make sure you grab a banana or something on your way out," Alice instructed. "Have a good day. I will try not to work too late tonight."

"Okay," Betty said before leaving the room going downstairs. She went into the kitchen grabbing an apple and walked out the door to begin the short walk to school. Betty was halfway there when she heard her name being called from behind. She turned around to see her next door neighbor -slash- red-headed best friend jogging his way towards her.

"Hey, Archie," she smiled when he stopped next to her slightly out a breath. "You know for being the quarterback you should be in better shape," she teased him.

"You sound like my dad," he grumbled, "Didn't you hear me calling you back there?" he asked her pointing behind him with his thumb.

"You were calling me?" Betty returned sounding confused.

"I guess that answers my question," Archie chuckled tiredly.

"Rough night?"

"Practice was brutal," Archie told her. "Coach has been working us like dogs lately. I don't know what his problem is. We have the best team in the county."

"He just wants to be the best that you can be," Betty said patting him on the arm. "Are you hungover?" she asked him slowly realizing his gait was slightly off.

"A little bit," Archie said rubbing his eyes. "There was a party at Cheryl's, and I think I drank too much. It was a lot of fun. Why didn't you come to it?"

"Because I didn't know about it," Betty replied with a small smile. "I don't get invited to parties anymore, remember. I am not everyone's favorite person."

"Well to hell with them," Archie muttered wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "You still are one of my favorite people, even if we aren't together anymore."