A MILLION AND LOVE

[naple]

11 : cue;love like this- koadaline jimin could hear cautious footsteps padding into his room.

so cautious they were almost not there. he glued his eyes close, tighter than they had been, fists coming to tighten further.

four seconds later, the sun washed over his closed eyes. the black turned into a rich orange.

jimin opened them to a pair of curtains drawn back.

his eyes gazed softly at the sun gliding her used up hands over the glass of his window.

a figure hunched over his lavender flower vase; jungkook stood outlined by the golden light flowing in. pretty brown hair falling like water over calmed, smoothed features.

jimin's eyes fell to where his fingers fiddled with the many white, little-petalled flowers.

the air conditioner had been turned off and it felt as if the morning had come to wish jimin herself, the air dewy and cool, his palms soft and shoulders relaxed.

"goodmorning, jimin"

he looked back up to find jungkook, still facing downwards. hands repeatedly moving the vase from one position, to another.

"mrs. gerald had jasmines blooming, lent me some. oh and, I changed your curtains.

I washed them before."

jimin frowned. jungkook's tank top fell nicely from his shoulders.

he suddenly remembered holding her in his arms.

he didn't remember being held.

jungkook continued talking, hurriedly but softly. mumbling, almost.
scared.

" pretty, aren't they? " he finally looked up. jimin squinted. the sun rays shifted with jungkook's head.

jimin wasn't someone dramatic, or a wild lover but

jungkook looked like an angel, that second.

the dining table, or the four stools arranged beside the kitchenette: for an excuse of it: was silent.

jimin's eyes would sift by jungkook fingers, so big they wouldn't wrap around the butter knife in a comfortable manner.

he slowly straightened up, back coming to parallel with the chair's, he took the knife from the youngers hand. jungkook watched silently.

jimin sat in front of the condenser microphone, the headphones hurt his ears, they'd always been sensitive.

usually, when he sang, he'd make sure the lyrics got to him. so he could voice the feelings out, instead of words.

but that day, everything came spiralling down to one thing: one simple word, two syllables: two complicated, frustrating, lovely milliseconds.

I don't speak what the rain does

a heart in my chest,
I didn't know there was

he stared at the paper in his hands. the handwriting was elongated and well placed. every stroke shone with practice and care, regardless of being written with carelessness.

nothing like jungkook himself.

jungkook in his damned office shoes and fake love for odd cutlery.

jimin smiled, picturing the younger from five hours ago, in his graphic vest and carrot patterned pyjamas, matted, unkempt hair.

jungkook would always dress to impress, and then go back home to watch the power puff girls. and be unapologetic about it.

that was how he'd been with jimin,

wild (read: in love)
and unapologetic.

his heart flipped. only slightly, but it did.

wait, wait: your eyes say

is this me
or only someone like me

how did this happen?
how?
how did you become a need?

jimin waited for the rather familiar, white, humongous vehicle, to show up outside the studio.

he took a seat on the bench right outside but it only pained him more.

this was what he had been scared of.

being forgotten. left.

how did you become a need?
how did you become a need?

his phone vibrated in his coat pocket.
the golden five o' clock sky had turned into a soft cynthia.

jimin's insides were sore with blue. his cheeks were wet.

the metal bench was colder than ever.
as cold as it can be in the retreating winters.

his phone rang again. jimin picked up this time.

"hyung? where are you?"

jimin choked a sob. how childish of him. of all the things he could cry for, he was crying because jungkook hadn't picked him up that day.

"hyung?"

but jungkook had left him there. on the bench. alone.

"jimin? why are you crying?"

he was afraid of jungkook leaving him. going away from him. he wished it wasn't so.

"come..... here"

"I lost track of time today. and by the time I looked up, it was already six."

jungkook looked over at jimin. his voice had worry but his face was the same, collected as ever.

"I thought you'd be home already. but you weren't. thought you'd be there by eight, at most."

jimin felt a larger hand come to cover his. sliding atop his dry, clasped ones.

he looked up.

"it's okay, kook." he smiled.

jungkook's hand tightened around his as his fingers took there place between jimin's.

"it's okay." he said, more softly this time. "I just got scared."

he didn't want to say what he did. but
he did
say it.

"I got scared that...maybe...you didn't-

you didn't want to love me anymore." >>

ps: the translated lyrics are from the song "kaise hua" from the movie kabir singh. sung by vishal mishra.