A MILLION AND LOVE

[ochre]

12 : cue;tujhe kitna chahne lage hum-arijit singh   "I can't believe you still believe in that."

" but where is the lie jungkook!"

"no. there isn't any lie. it's ancient. do you really think it matters? I thought we were living in the twenty first century!! "

jungkook hit the steering wheel, fuming. his eyes widened as he looked over at jimin, who was close to tears.

he released a breath, turned his head to look ahead. the roadway was littered with soft, pink petals. jimin too turned away.

" listen", he began again, more softly this time.

"you love flowers, don't you?"

jimin nodded, eyes glazed as he looked at more fresh petals raining down with the cool breeze.

"you don't see which colour, you love them all, right?"

jimin didn't nod this time. or give any other kind of approval.

"then why me? why can't you love me? the exact way you love these flowers?"

upon not receiving a reply from the older, jungkook sighed, bending to rest his head on the steering wheel. he turned his head to the other side, watching the people's shenanigans outside.

"let's say..."

jungkook shot up when he heard jimin speak slowly, in almost a whisper.

"... that i do love you. how will you know then?"

"you tell me"

"tell you what?"

"that you love me?"

"n-ugh. no. that's not what I meant."

jimin rubbed a hand across his face, a frustrated sigh leaving his lungs.

"I mean how do I know that I really do love you and that-"

he turned to look jungkook in the eyes. it didn't seem like it but
it took all of his strength to.

"-it isn't just an illusion of love."

he began fidgeting. fiddling with his fingers as he grew uneasy under jungkook's harsh stare. he watched the younger squeeze his eyes shut, blowing air through his nose.

jungkook spoke again.

"love... is an illusion, hyung..."

he opened his eyes. hesitant.

"gosh. this so stupid.

when I- uh- whenever i look at you, can you guess what I see?"

jimin shook his head, brows scrunched.

jungkook began tracing the seams of his steering wheel cover.

" I see yellow. all kinds of yellow. sometimes bright, sometimes so dim, it's like those gloomy rainy days. I don't feel good about it but, "

he looked up from the steering wheel, ahead.

"I still bear with you."

jimin watched the younger's face soften. wrist loosening as his tracing got more regulated. " and to bear is to love.

love is an illusion, jimin. love is a  feeling, you know. it makes you feel so much- no- everything. sadness, happiness, pain, bitterness, every possible thing. it makes you see. the real things.

and you're honestly problematic. regardless of everything you've been through.

but i love you. and that's what really matters. the fact that I'm ready to give it all for you, you know. not some stupid vision out of a fucking colouring book. I mean, seriously? you really think you see colour hyung? no!  they're simply bioluminescence enzymes reacting to the variations in your heartbeat, combined with oxidised luciferins! "

jimin stared at jungkook. wondering how the conversation went from a sweet but rather intense confession to jungkook's odd research habits. he was a humanities student, mind you.

the younger widened his eyes, realizing what he had just blurted out. his mouth was left hanging open.

" I mean... you know, you know. "

he looked down, at his newly clasped hands. embarrassed out of his wits.

"I just... really like you. your company. a-and, whatever you are."

he continued speaking, however. looking away, out the window again.

"I always have. from the first moment.

you'd always been sweet and perfect.

and then aggressive, passionate.

sometimes, even the most mildest things would offend you

and you'd cry."

jungkook chuckled. cheeks still tinted pink, but he wasn't as repulsed anymore.

" remember how I used to tease you? "

he turned towards the older, all too suddenly, startling jimin. the latter nodded slowly.

" yeah, and then I'd go to bed, thinking how all of it was too much. but I'd do it again. because everyone else was careful around you.

I wasn't.

it was as if I had the privilege to not be.

and still care about you."

they stared at each other.

jimin felt oddly satiated. was he supposed to? he wasn't sure.

but he loved the moment.

he loved it.

" it's raining. "

" it sure is. "

jimin slid his hand into jungkook's, his fingers coming to entwine with five longer ones.

their feet padded into the puddles. jimin turned around to look at the footprints they had been leaving behind. there were none.

he looked back, at jungkook this time.

he wore an ochre hued bomber jacket, a white t-shirt underneath.

jimin realised he loved yellow. >>