Heartless Tears

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I opened the door to my house and walked inside shutting the door behind me. I began walking upstairs to my room and set my bag down. I laid down in bed sighing. I stared back up to my ceiling like i did this morning, nothing left but my empty glare as I left this world dazing into another one. 

I was wide awake staring up at the ceiling day dreaming, I Remembered the lonesome feeling of being hated and alone. Nobody there for you when you need someone, The sharp piercing pain of being here in this world without someone for you. It seemed like all there was for me was nothing. I sat up my body aching in pain, I crossed my right arm over my stomach holding it,I felt a cold liquid coming down my hand. I got up and stumbled gaining my balance again i walked to my desk sitting on the chair, I lifted up my shirt and took it off, I bit of some of the skin from my bottom lip and continued biting into my lip unravelling the bandages that were around my stomach , Blood rushed into my hand. I tore apart the stitches in my stomach and grabbed my needle and thred.

I stitched my stomach up, so now there was a Upside Down cross on my stomach that was stitched up. I took a towel and cleaned off the blood. Seems like I didn't get lucky having an Upside Down cross cut into the side of my stomach. I took a few deep breathes and got up picking my phone up that kept going off. Lifting it up to my ear after answering the call I said "Hm..? Hello..?" I heard his voice, "Yo! did I bother you Naki?" The voice said. I Started Speaking Again "No, Sero you didn't." I replied , hearing him  sigh in relief Sero began rambling on and asked how I was. Knowing i was in pain I said I was alright, an hour later I was sitting outside on my back porch resting not wanting anything to do with this world any longer.

I had made my way Inside after I chilled outside a bit staring up at the sky, I walked upstairs and into my room looking around and looked up at the Legend Of Zelda Posters on my wall, I couldn't help but smile Remembering how much my little sister loved the game. My siblings and I loved the game, my smile soon faded only having memorys of my siblings which turned into sorrowful memorys. You'd think memorys of your past with your siblings would be happy, but there not. Instead there Stained in my mind with blood.

I live with regret. Having the fear of not being able to be saved from this hell people  call a world.. I can't bare all the sorrow filled memorys that have stained my mind, being unable to remember them without breaking down mentally. All i felt is pain being filled with loneliness , an unstable feeling I'm unable to control. It's a feeling that never leaves, it always stays, like a stain in my mind just like blood stains on a wall or floor.

I turned away sitting on my bed , Holding my arm . I felt the bandages come loose around my arms, Grabbing onto the end I titghtened them leaving it there. Having to fix them was a Pain I never  liked having to , but I lived with it. Laying on my bed i stared at my ceiling again , feeling nothing but helpless. 

I covered my eyes with my arm staying awake the whole night being unable to sleep again, my music played in my ears filling me up with comfort and warmth which relaxed me. My body still ached but i was relaxed, calm listening to my music while i doze off yet again, in and out..in and out.. slow..slower..slowly, i breathed. It was a way of keeping my self from loosing it, keeping everything together. Cold air circulated around the room turning it into what was like a freezer but without the ice. The coldness felt soothing to me,just cold enough for me to feel at ease.i wasnt asleep, just staring up at the ceiling as i relaxed in bed, seconds..minuets..hours, id have to wait till i had to get up and get ready.

Nothing but darkness was seen in my room, only the dim light from the moon that managed to escape into my room happened to be the only light.