The New Guy//roadtrip bxb

fourteen

Rye looked at him with adoration, and I hoped, even more than before, that Jack would forgive me.

Sonny's POV
I walked back into the living room after filming part of the vlog for Robbie. I saw Jack asleep on Brook's shoulder still, and Randy making food in the kitchen. Geez, I never realized how lonely it could be here. I just made my way to the couch and sat down, near Jacklyn, but not next to them.

Rob walked in, not too long after me, first scolding Randy for not being ready to film, then Brook for letting Jack sleep. "What do we even need to film for, anyways?" Brook asked, annoyed.

"An update on Sonny's trial!" Robbie exclaimed.

"Okay. Brook, you wake Jack up, and the four of us can just ask him questions and stuff. Will that work, Rob?" Andy questioned.

"Yeah. Yeah, that'll work."

"Hey, hey Jacky, wake up," Brook shook him gently awake.

Jack's POV
I opened my eyes, but I'd already been awake for awhile. Long enough to hear Brook say that he hoped me and him were okay, again. I was afraid if they all knew that I was awake that I would have to stop cuddling Brook, and I really didn't want to do that. I wanted to stay close to him as long as possible.

I looked up to try to look at Brook, not realizing how close he actually was to me. Close enough to kiss, if I wanted to. But I didn't. No, I did. I did want to, but I couldn't. I couldn't sit there, and pretend like everything was fine. I was still stuck trying to figure out what I felt for Sonny, and I didn't want to drag Brook along, not knowing what I felt. I stood up as quickly as I could, and ran to the bathroom.

Why couldn't I just like my own boyfriend? Why couldn't I just kiss him? Why did I have to question everything good that happened to me? Why was I so fucked up that I couldn't even know my own feelings?

When I'd first started trialing, Brook took me under his wing and started showing me the ropes of the band. He taught me how everything worked and we became really close.

Once I'd officially became a member of Roadtrip, I'd realized how young Brook actually acted. He was a lot less mature than I'd always thought, but not in a bad way. He was cute. Like a little lost puppy. I think at that point, I knew that I liked Brook. But I tried to convince myself it was only as a friend. That he was like my brother. So I pretended he was.

When me and Brook had to share a room, I really didn't want to. I didn't know how much longer I would be able to contain my feelings if I had to be around him all the time. We got super close. We would always cuddle up next to each other, pretty much any chance we could get.

There was one night where Brooklyn couldn't sleep. He kept tossing and turning, which made me not be able to sleep, either. I asked him why he couldn't sleep, and he said he was keeping a secret that no one could know about. He told me he was bi, and I told him I would love him forever, no matter what. We ended up cuddling until we both fell asleep.

The next day was when I told Mikey that I was gay and that I liked Brook. He kept talking to me about it, pretty much every day, letting me talk about my feelings, and trying to get me to tell Brook.

Eventually, there was a day where me and Brook were in the flat alone, and I finally got the guts to talk to him.

"Hey Brook, do you remember the other night? When you told me you were bi?"

"Yes, Jack, I think I remember the scariest day of my life."

"I need to tell you something."

"Okay?"

"I'm gay. And I like you, Brooky."

He leaned in and kissed me. It didn't feel like fireworks, like I thought it would. You hear people talking about how they feel fireworks and electric sparks when they kiss their true love. But for me, it just kind of clicked. Like the last piece going onto a puzzle. It just felt right. Brook just felt right for me.

At this point in going through my memories, I was on the bathroom floor, crying into my knees. Why couldn't I feel like that with Brook, now? I knew I still loved him, and I was sure I'd never stop. But now, it just didn't feel like enough. Like, I still wanted Brook, I didn't want to lose him, but I wanted more.

Brook's POV
When Jack woke up, he looked at me and suddenly our faces were less than inches apart. I was looking directly into his eyes, and he was looking directly into mine. Before anything happened, he got up and ran away. I saw Andy try to go after him, but I told him not to, that he just needed space.

I thought I had gotten my answer at that point. When I was looking at him, I saw love in his eyes. But I also saw hesitance. Like something was holding him back. And him getting up and running away, basically made me realize that he wasn't ready to talk about it yet. I had hope that he would be ready soon, and that we could fix everything between us. But I also realized he needed space, first. To be able to sort things out with himself. And that kind of hurt. But, we needed to film a vlog, so I choked my hurt feelings down, and started messing around behind the camera while Sonny was being 'interviewed' by Robbie.

995 words
~Soph