The New Guy//roadtrip bxb

three

I just smiled back and walked away.

Mikey's POV
Now, I had to go back to the boys. We were going to film a vlog telling the roadies that I was leaving, and why. It was just hitting me that none of the boys, not even Blair, knew the whole story as to why I was truly leaving. They knew the basics; I was feeling more depressed, less motivated, and I needed to be able to spend more time with my family. All of this was true, but I left out the part about feeling left out.

It always seemed like the rest of the boys were breaking off into pairs. If they weren't split up as couples, then they were all hanging out together. Sometimes all 5 of us hung out together outside of work for the band, but they would always talk about couple-y things, or they would be all cuddled up next to each other in a couple-y way.

I didn't tell the boys because I didn't want them to think I held anything against them. Truly, I didn't. I wasn't any of their faults that I was feeling the way I was. I didn't want them to see me as weak, either. I mean, they were dating each other, so what? That didn't mean that they weren't still friends with me. I mean honestly, why was I feeling as lonely and left out as I was? It made absolutely zero sense. But I was, all logic cast aside, and now we had to tell the roadies.

Rye's POV
We now had to film a vlog telling the roadies that Mikey was leaving. This would probably be the hardest video to film. One of the most awkward and complicated vlogs to go up on our channel.

Me and the rest of the boys had known for 2 or 3 months that this was happening. We already had a trialist lined up to come soon. It seemed unfair to the roadies for us to move on that quickly, and I'm sure a lot of them would feel that way. But it is our careers here, and our band. We couldn't just let them sit there and collect dust right after Mikey left. The world kept on turning, and we needed to, too.

We were all sat down on the couch, including Blair, with Robbie behind the camera filming for us.

"Mr. Mikey Cobban is leaving us," Blair said.

"I'm sorry," Mikey said with a wave, causing us all to laugh, though it wasn't a joke. That thought alone made me quieten up a bit, while the others continued to explain further what was happening.

I kept looking down at the ground, or playing with my shoe, not wanting to look at the camera. I could almost feel the disappointment from the roadies already, even though none of them knew. Some, I'm sure, were already expecting it, considering the cover we'd posted only days before.

Mikey explained a little bit further, ending with, "I've decided to leave Roadtrip." Again, everyone laughed. I knew it would only make it that much harder for the roadies. They would think it was a joke, maybe even play along for a bit, and then, boom, no actually we're not joking. This is for real. (a/n how I was at first)

"I don't think it's fair on the boys for me to pretend like Roadtrip is my main priority when it isn't." That kind of stung a little bit. I knew how he was feeling, and I knew that his family was always what came first. We'd never really had a problem, though, where it was a choice between the band and family, until now. It was a weird thing. Hard to deal with, and to process. And the way Mikey worded it was so blunt, and I feel like it was finally starting to dawn on me that Mikey wasn't going to be a member of Roadtrip once he left tonight.

"I don't want, one day, for me to feel resentful towards Roadtrip. That's something I don't want to happen." When Mikey said that, I think I finally was able to start wrapping my head around why he had come to this decision. He didn't want to stay the way we are, because he's unhappy with it. He didn't want us to keep doing what we're doing, having the same dynamic we were, because if we did, he would start to blame us for his unhappiness. He didn't want to lose the friendships he'd grown with all of us because of how he was feeling. And I started to realize just how hard it must've been for him to make that decision.

"Me and Mikey sat down and had a chat about this in October." October? Blair said October? That was before we'd even moved. That was when me and Andy started dating. Hold on. Me and Andy. This was our fault. Or, more specifically, my fault.

I was the one who asked him to move rooms. I made him feel like we didn't care. Holy shit. It's my fault he's leaving. How did I not see it before? It's totally my fault. Why did I have to do that? Why did I have to make my best friend feel like he was worthless? Why did I have to put Andy above Mikey? No, no, no. I didn't mean to do that. And now Mikey's leaving. It's my fault.

"We all care about each other on a level beyond what comes across on camera. You guys think we're close on camera, imagine what it's like off camera." Apparently, not close enough, Andy. Not for Mikey, anyways. We made him feel like shit. I made him feel like shit. I made my best friend feel like shit. I'm a terrible person.

"Go on spotify and listen to their new EP." All I could think about was how it was my fault. Mikey doesn't get to be a part of this anymore. It's not his EP anymore. And it's my fault. Plus, I had hardly talked at all yet. He probably thinks I don't care. But he's my best friend. I care a hell of a lot. Holy shit. It's my fault, and I'm acting like I don't even care.

"It's what's best for each individual member that comes first, and then Roadtrip as a band is what comes after," I finally said. Mikey's well-being is and always would be more important than the band. I hoped he knew that that's how I felt. I didn't want it to be my fault. I didn't want to be responsible for this, but yet, here I was. How heartless can a person be?

"See you later not goodbye."

1128 words (without a/n)
again, in no way, shape, or form do I think Mikey leaving is Rye, or any of the other boys' faults. it was what's best for Mikey and that is what is important. also I may or may not have cried while writing this chapter😢😥
~Soph