The Lonely Hearts Club

24 / roasted bean

ROMAN LOOKED around Roasted Bean, trying to spot where Verona was sitting. He stifled a laugh after he finally spotted a mop of dark hair.

Verona was asleep on the cafe table, a finished cup of tea next to her. Her mouth was open as she slept. Roman couldn't help but grin as he spotted the slight drool coming out of the corner of the mouth.

He made his way to Verona, sliding off his swim hoodie and placing it around her shoulders. Roman's smile faded away as he watched her sleep. He was always reminded of how pretty she was, even when she was sleeping and drooling. But whenever he looked at her, he was also reminded of every time that he hurt her.

He had a vague idea of what she wanted to talk about, and he was aware that he would probably be losing the person that meant so much to him.

Roman put his head on the table. There was nothing he could do except wait for Verona to wake up.

~

VERONA YAWNED as she woke up. She blinked back her surprise at Roman across the table from her.

"I got you an iced caramel macchiato." Roman said, gesturing to the drink.

"Thank you. Did you wait long?"

He shrugged, "Not that long. I don't mind." Softly, he added, "Not when it's you."

Verona shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "Thank you for coming here to talk to me."

"No problem. What did you want to talk about?" He asked, his eyes not meeting hers.

"I'm tired, Roman."

"I can tell," he gave her a weak smile, "You were really drooling on that poor coffee table."

"Roman." She sighed.

"Okay sorry. Continue."

Verona began a bit unsurely, "I'm tired. I'm tired of not knowing what you're thinking. And I'm tired of all this history behind us."

Verona took a shaky breath, "So can you please be honest with me? Can we talk about everything that's happened? I want us to talk about this and move past this- really move past everything that's happened. I don't want us to feel sad or guilty or regretful anymore."

"What do you want me to say then?" Roman sighed wearily.

"It's not what I want you to say. I want to know why about so many things." She replied.

"Like what?"

"Like why you broke up with me. Especially after Mrs. Chen died."

Roman shut his eyes, "I can't answer that."

"Why? Why can't you answer that? I don't think it's that you can't. I think it's always that you aren't willing to." Verona said, her voice rising slightly toward the end.

Roman was quiet, "You're right." He bite his lip, "I'm not willing to."

"Why aren't you willing to?" Verona pushed.

"Because I'm scared, okay? I'm scared to open up." Roman admitted.

"Roman," Verona began unsurely, "I know I said I wouldn't give you a third chance. But I'm willing to give us a try again. I know it might be awkward and weird, but I'm willing."

Roman looked up at her in surprise.

"But only on the condition that this isn't our third try. Insanity is trying over and over without changing anything and expecting something different." Verona looked at Roman hopefully.

"If you're willing to open up, to try to make it different, I want to. I know you can't promise to hurt me unintentionally, but can you promise not to leave when you're scared?" Verona asked.

Roman gazed at her hopeful expression, his heart sinking.

"No." He said quietly, watching Verona's face fall and the hope shatter.

Verona's face knit together as she tried to regain her composure, "Okay." She said, shutting her eyes for a beat.

"I can't promise you that. I can't lie to you again and say I won't leave when I'm scared. I'm already scared, and I already don't think I can do it." Roman shook his head.

"I won't ask you to promise then. Can you promise to try then? We can try together?" Verona asked softly.

Roman looked conflicted, his emotions swirling in his eyes, "I'm sorry, but it's still no. I don't want to." He said apologetically.

Verona nodded with a choked laugh, "Of course. Of course it's a no. I don't know why I expected anything different."

Verona took a deep breath, trying to gather strength, "Roman, I can't remember my life without you. I can't remember how it is to be me without worrying about you, without being hurt by you. I can't remember what it feels like to not be bitter at you or disappointed at you."

"Let's end this. Maybe it's best if we stop our contact. If you aren't willing to change when I'm willing to change to make this work, it really isn't worth it anymore." Verona gave him a tight smile, "Let's say our goodbyes here."

Verona's words hung in the air in a moment of silence.

"Okay." Roman said. "I understand."

"You do?" Verona blinked at him.

"Yes. I do. I understand why you don't want me in your life right now." He said, biting his lip.

"Thank you." She said awkwardly.

Roman modded, switching topics, "Emilia called me and told me about what happened. Thank you for taking care of her." Roman gave a forced laugh, "Since I definitely couldn't care for her."

Roman shook his head, "Okay. I should go now."

He stood up to leave. "Can I get a final hug?" He leaned down, wrapping his arms around her. Verona shut her eyes, reminding herself that this was probably the last time she would hug him. When they pulled away, Verona couldn't help but notice how bright his eyes looked.

Roman gave her a tight smile, "Take care, Verona." He nodded at her before quickly walking away.

"Wait, Roman, I still have your hoodie..."

Roman didn't turn back, "Keep it."

~