ring pops and cigs

08

the violent beat of the bass was what really got my headache pumping. but my body thrashed to the music anyways, because i was a teenager with a useless mind and functionless heart; the only thing that ever worked was my body, so why waste it on shoulder shaking sobs when i could do some torso twisting dancing?

i sipped the acidic juice in my red solo cup, before downing the bitter liquid in a two gulps. my eyes roll back, and i staggered. that was strong.

this continued for a while, the music guiding my body to rock, and my body trying to reject the tons of liquid courage i poured into it. it continued until i spotted him. a small, petite male flattened his hand on his chest, leaning closer. kaleb's eyes scanned the crowd, and glazed over me. it's like he didn't even see me. my head was spinning. i tried inhaling, but it was shaky. i don't know why. my throat was aching. i don't know why.

soon, their lips attached.

my vision got blurry. i don't know why.

brown eyes connected with mine, and the pure intensity behind the gaze had bile crawling up my throat. i slithered through the crowd, pushing my way outdoors. i felt perspiration build up on my forehead, and i was getting hot and cold flashes.

i assume it's the owner's (whoever that may be) backyard, as there's an old, wooden playset, and a pool. the chlorine made the water glow an azure in the quiet of the evening.

my feet were walking by it's own accord.

i was never a good swimmer. but i suppose i don't have to be to appreciate the water surrounding me; the water that's so blue that it's inhabiting where the air should be. it's encapsulating me in an ice cold hug and i find it as chilling as i do warm. goosebumps ride over my skin, and i think my body knows my intent.

the world is peaceful at the bottom of the pool. the terribly loud bass that shook the floor was a simple thrum when i sat crisscross at the bottom. all the drunk kids throwing up were gone, all the boys and all the girls and the terrible urge to feel was gone as my senses were stripped away. i closed my eyes.

i forgot whether i had taken a breath before i went down. i wondered if i cared.

i think i like this type of breathless. not the breathless gasps when there are lips on your neck begging for sound. not the breathless when you inhaled too much smoke and suddenly you feel it all in your body; a putrid prickle from your toes to every strand of hair. the breathless where you wonder if your gonna make it.

there was a shout and i felt a splash resonate around me, and soon there were arms wrapping around my waist. i didn't take the time to struggle, my brain starting to send out horrible signals to my body. my brain is so fickle; first it urges me into the pool, now it's fighting for me to stay alive. it seems someone else was fighting, too.