Heart-strings

Chapter 22

"Wake up!", Dhruv's voice pierced through my ears making me startle with shock. I looked at him in utter bewilderment with my eyes popped out of its sockets. "What happened?", I whispered in a sleepy voice. "You have been sleeping for so long. It's already 8:45 am; the flight will take off at 9 and you are busy in snoring", said he. "You asshole! You could have wakened me up like a human being rather than barking like a dog", I had no idea that I was speaking rubbish to him; I was simply annoyed because he broke my sleep. "You think I didn't! I have been nudging you, whispering in your ears and what not, just to wake you up but you, sleep-monster", he argued and I lost the hunger to fight ahead when all of a sudden, I remembered Dad's message. I felt my stomach twisting in knots while my heart raced against me chest. I did not have the nerves to do anything ahead.

"What's the time?", I asked in a shaky voice. "8:45", Dhruv told monotonously. "You know what you have to do, right?", I asked him. "But the...", he was about to say something when I cut him off saying, "There's no other way. I will ring you up tomorrow. If you don't want to help me, you can back off, you still have time", I said. "No, I will show up tomorrow", he agreed.

As soon as I reached the airport, my eyes fell on Darshan who stood near Gate 7, busy talking on a phone call. After 14 days, I saw his face and realized that something inside me was still alive because life without him had no meaning and spark to live with. Among the crowd of some lacs of people, my eyes fell on him, only him. Maybe they were searching for him already or maybe they learnt to identify the dazzle of his eyes among the dim ones.

This was our chance to go out of the airport without getting noticed by him. I held Dhruv's hand and made our way out of there from another gate. "You can take your taxi. I am very exhausted, my cab might be here. I will ring you up tomorrow. Bye!", I pulled the trolley bag's handle and waved at him.

My heart ached badly for what I did with Darshan. He showed up at the airport at such early in the morning just for me but I did not even meet him, let alone going with him to home but I was helpless. I did not want to hurt him nor did I want to leave him like this but destiny had its own plan. If things would have been in my hands, I would have at least tried but the situation was too worse to take a risk. I was numb at that instant, my feelings were dead, I had so much inside me but it took a lot to spill it out. I was terrified and I deserved to be because I hurt the man who did everything for my sake of happiness. I did not deserve him at all; in return of the love and respect he gave me, I was just giving him pain. His heart was so pure and mine was adulterated.

"Mam, your phone is ringing since long", the cab driver dragged me out of my thoughts when I was lost in staring out of the window. Incoming call from 'Darsh' flashed on my screen and shivers went down my spine. Guilt hit me really heard; I did not have the nerves to speak to him. I swiped right somehow with my shivering hands and pulled the phone to my ears. "Hello! Hey! Hello? Are you on the line? Nandini, are you there?", he sounded so calm but the words which would leave my mouth in the next seconds would surely take away his calmness. "Yeah, Darshh—an. Oh, I am so sorry, I forgot to tell you that I am going with Dhruv to his place. I'll return tomorrow and then meet you. I hope you aren't at the airport", I packed up lies. "But I am at the airport. I thought you would go with me but it's fine now. Enjoy with your friend", he said somberly. Breaking his heart felt so bad, the dullness in his voice was enough to tell me that the path I chose for US to become I and HE would be way more tough than my thoughts. He fell quiet; the sounds which came from the other side were the hubbubs and noises at the airport. "Okay, bye,then", I broke the ice between us. "Wait!", he almost screamed. "Speak!", I ordered. "My friends are going out tomorrow so come to my house in the evening. I have a surprise for you. Am I clear?", he asked. Little did he know that I had another surprise waiting for him which was horrifying in real. "I asked you something. Did I make myself clear to you?", he questioned. "Oh, yes, I will definitely show up. Bye!", I disconnected the line.

I was wondering, how was he fine with the fact that I was going with another guy instead of him. Whatever would be the reason, it would become easy for me to walk away from him because the less I would affect him, easier it would be to back off. There was purity in our relation. He always trusted me blindly and the dreams in his eyes kept me alive. I owed him a lot. I owed him for illuminating the dark sides my life had. I owed him for the true and unconditional love which he always showered upon me. I owed him for giving wings to my dreams. If today I soared high, it was all because of him. I owed him for uncountable reasons and my gratefulness towards him would not subside even in the next six lives.

He knew this world was too treacherous to dive into so he let me safely drown into his eyes. He knew this world was in great rush so he offered me his shoulders to rest my head upon them. He knew I was a pretty fragile piece so he kept me deliberately in his heart, fully secured. He knew everything, every bit of me was now known to him; he knew what could make me or break me; he knew what my heart bore for him and even if I was a burden for myself, it wasn't the same for him, he treasured me as if I was a gem. He overvalued me when I undervalued myself. This world just knew that I was a strong and invincible girl who never gave up but they did not know that he was the reason why I did not give up. But now things will change, I will lose reasons; reasons to smile, live, hop, love and faith.

When I made him my strength, I already knew that when I would leave him or he would leave me, I would fall weak. Love is COMPLICATED. It's easy to fall in love but with it comes responsibilities which we need to take on. Now it was my turn to show that I was worth of those responsibilities which our relationship had. Our heart-strings which were always bound together were now on the path of separating from each other.