Getting that 1D

Chapter 2- bitch dies

I am in shock. The love of my life is gone. I will go save him from those nasty brits.
I ring my bell out of fear and suddenly, in comes Ke$ha. That bitch. She's wearing her stupid eyeliner and her stupid off-brand crocs. She's worried. She glares at me and yells, "where's big daddy?!?"
I know who she is referring to. "He got kidnapped by One Direction!!!"
This whore doesn't even look shocked. She smirks. She yells "I'm gonna go rescue him," and runs across my lobby.
I tell her that there is no running allowed in my lobby and she ignores me. I grab her and throw her off the boat, where she is eaten by pirates. Oops.
I am sad (😔) for a second but then I realize that some mistakes happen for a reason. Bob Ross opens the door and tells me that I'm doing a good job.
I thank him and continue in my toxic-free 2019 (goodbye ke$ha) .

THREE HOURS LATER
I have arrived at One Direction's secret lair. I see Zayn Malik guarding the entrance. He sees me but I wink at him and he is thrown off his rhythm. He smirks. "Hey baby girl."
I am shocked. For a second I consider forgetting Danny Devito and loving zayn instead, but then I realize that he is manipulating me. He tells me that he loves me and I ignore him and hit him with the old one-two. Through the power of tai-chi, i kill him.
I do a somersault past the door and suddenly I see Danny Devito in a cage.
TO BE CONTINUED😳