snow ; changki ◯ ON HOLD

12

tw // suicide mentions

[two weeks ago]

A cold wind blew over Changkyun's bare arms, so he scooted closer to Kihyun; he who held him closer to his body for warmth, content face lit up by the moon and stars above them.
Changkyun stared, overwhelmed by the tiny smile on his face, the breeze blowing pink strands across his face that didn't even seem to phase him, blinking gently as the stars reflected on his eyes.

He reached over to move them, the gentle graze of his fingertips on the bridge of his nose causing Kihyun to look at Changkyun. "Thank you."

"It's okay," he replied. "this is a really cool spot."

"Yeah. My sister used to come here with me too, but I eventually started to come here alone." He replied softly.

Changkyun rolled over, now on his front as he faced Kihyun. "Sister."

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure I told you I have a sister," he looked away from him, back to the stars. "Jiwoo. She's studying abroad."

"Ah. How come you didn't go? Or did your parents keep you here since your sister went?" He blinked curiously, the cold not getting to him as much. Beside him, Kihyun shuffled, moving the hand behind his head to his bent leg, playing with a thread of his ripped jeans. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it, I understand."

"Thank you." He breathed, and Changkyun rolled onto his back, facing the sky and the multitude of life that resides beyond what his eyes could see.
It was peaceful, and too nice to be true. All he could do was smile, hoping Kihyun was enjoying the moment as much as he was right now.

Confirmation came soon after, his hand sliding into Changkyun's across the 30cm between them. He didn't move, frozen for a few seconds before Kihyun squeezed it.

"Jiwoo moved to Japan to get away from my Dad."

He turned to face the pink haired boy. "Yeah," He continued. "at least that's what we tell everybody."

He squeezed harder, almost desperately, as he closed his eyes. "Jiwoo died a good three years ago."

"Kihyun-"

"No. I need to say this out loud every now and then," he drew a shaky breath. "before it, all the pressure that is currently on me, was on her. He wanted her to be this perfect business-savy daughter to take over the business since he didn't really see much in me. But she wanted to do art, to study in France and to get far away from him. He's not only mean and bitter, but violent when it really comes to it," he said softly.
"I don't remember properly what happened, but I did something, and she was trying to protect me from him and he shoved her aside to the floor and proceeded to hit me, but she got the worst of it. it She never forgave him, and decided in that same night to leave. The next morning we got the news that a body was pulled out of the Han River."

His heart physically ached in his chest, pain radiating throughout his body, but immediately stopping around the area where Kihyun's hand rested, the pads of his fingers warm and soft against the back of his hand. He brought them to his lips, pressing a kiss to his before laying it over his chest. "I'm so sorry, Ki. I'm so sorry you went through this."

"It's okay. Builds character, you know?" He chuckled, shortly followed by a sigh. "when it happened I was in this delirious, almost psychotic state and my parents tried to trick me that she just went abroad. I am well aware that she's gone, but sometimes things get difficult in my head and I almost imagine that she's just abroad to make myself feel better, I started turning to stupid habits that I just can't shake off now. I have to say it out loud now and then, to just remind myself that she is away, but also watching over me."