Welcome to the Family

Introduction

Taking care of a family is an undeniably hard task. Taking care of yourself is an even harder task. For me, I have to take care of myself five different times. Now, I know what your thinking: "What are you talking about, Vinny?"

You might think I'm hallucinating, but there are five different versions of myself in my house. They're my clones, you could say. They range from a baseball player all the way to a terrifying demon. One comes from space, one comes from my spider-filled basement, and one comes from decades before.

Here we are, a family of six, living in a small apartment in Staten Island, all trying to get along. It's rough, but once in a while they'll settle down and act like a normal family. I've come to tell a tale of what it's like to live with five chaotic clones of yourself and not have something go wrong.

...

Beep... beep... THWONK! I woke up this morning to find my alarm in pieces on the floor. I was so tired I just assumed it was a dream and kept sleeping. I realized it wasn't a dream when I got fragments of my clock stuck in my foot.

As I writhed in pain while pulling the pieces out, I heard someone running up and down the hallway. How early was it? I checked my phone, seeing it was 7 a.m., and wondered which one of my clones was up. It was normal for at least someone to be up and doing something stupid.

I opened my door, seeing V-Dub pacing up and down the hallway. He's one of the more "normal" clones; V-Dub looks exactly like me except he's a little shorter and wears sunglasses and a hat all the time. He usually has a blank face on and the only time his expression changes are when he dies in a video game. I've never seen V-Dub worried before.

"What's the matter?" I asked, making him jump a little bit.

"Vinny! I-It wasn't me, I swear! They forced me to shut your alarm up by breaking it!" V-Dub yelled, putting his hands on his face and sobbing. I gave him a short hug and waited for him to calm down.

"Alright, who exactly made you do it?"

"Vlinny and Imp Vinny made me!" V-Dub yelled and I shushed him.

I groaned, knowing that out of all the clones, Vlinny wasn't the one you'd want to fight with. He might be a bit skinny, but he can pack a punch. Both him and Imp Vinny were the troublemakers of our family.

"Stay here. I'll go talk to them," I said, and began walking to the guest room where they all slept. As I approached the door, I could already hear them chattering. They stopped as soon as I opened up the door.

Vlinny and Imp Vinny sat on the floor, playing poker and drinking soda.

"Welcome, Vincent. Care to join?" Imp Vinny eerily offered, holding out his claws. He was much bigger and stronger than me and had very sharp nails.

"N-no," I answered, hoping I didn't sound afraid, "I'm here to talk about the broken alarm."

Vlinny broke out into laughter, "He actually went and did it?!" He and Imp Vinny maniacally laughed while the other two, Vineschnoz and Vine A.M. looked down at them from their bunk bed. Vineschnoz grunted, returning back to reading his baseball magazine.

"Vine A.M., you're the mature one, why didn't you stop them?" I asked and the attention went over to him.

"Do you think I listen to all the baloney those two talk about?" Vine A.M. snarled.

I inhaled and exhaled, realizing that solving this problem would be harder than I thought. That's when I thought of a plan.

"If you guys don't apologize to V-Dub, I'm not buying you pizza for dinner." Pizza was the main food the clones ate and I let them have some every Friday night. It was the only thing we all liked.

While leaving the room, I heard Imp Vinny sigh and get up. Vlinny snickered in the background.

"You two better get along when I call you guys for breakfast, okay? Let's not have a bad day today," I told Imp Vinny and he nodded. I grinned, feeling like maybe we'd have a peaceful normal day

~~~

Hi! Reuploading this from AO3 (toonfoolery is my username on there) onto here. It's my first time using these websites so please excuse the errors :)